‘Stress bragging’ at work has a major downside

TFI Friday, am I right? Bet you’ve had a super stressful week with so much to do and not enough time. You’ll probably end up working half the weekend, and then return on Monday even more stressed.

If that sounds like you, then bad news – you shouldn’t tell everyone about it.

New research from the University of Georgia has found that people who ‘stress brag’ are seen as less competent by their co-workers – and less likeable.

It also helps spread stress in the office.

That may seem counterintuitive to 21st-century thinking about being open around problems, but that’s what two surveys of more than 500 people found. The issue it seems is not talking about stress, but bragging about how busy you are.

Lead author Professor Jessica Rodell said: ‘This is a behavior we’ve all seen, and we all might be guilty of at some point. When I was wondering about why people do this, I thought maybe we are talking about our stress because we want to prove we’re good enough. We found out that often backfires.’

In the first survey, 360 participants rated imaginary coworkers who had just come back from a conference. The ‘stress braggart’ described the conference as ‘just one more thing on my full plate. And I was already stressed to the max … you have no idea the stress that I am under.’ 

Participants rated this colleague as less likeable and competent as others who either simply said work had been stressful, or said the conference had been great. They also said they were less likely to help the stress braggart, despite them saying they were overburdened.

‘People are harming themselves by doing this thing they think is going to make them look better to their colleagues,’ said Professor Rodell.

A second survey asked 218 employees about their real-life experiences with stress braggarts and found the phenomenon has an impact on them too – people with co-workers who stress brag often reported higher levels of stress and burnout themselves.

Professor Rodell said this is because bragging about stress often contributes to the idea that it is a normal part of the work culture.

‘When somebody is constantly talking about and bragging about their stress, it makes it seem like it is a good thing to be stressed,’ said Professor Rodell. ‘It just spills over onto the co-worker next to them. They wind up feeling more stressed, which leads to higher burnout or withdrawal from their work. 

‘Think of it as this spiralling contagious effect from one person to the next.’

However, the study also found that people who were stressed, but only mentioned it in passing or were seen to be stressed, did not stress out their co-workers – who also didn’t see them as less competent or likeable.

Writing in the journal Personnel Psychology, Professor Rodell and her co-authors said: ‘Feeling stressed is an unfortunately common experience among employees – and one with significant consequences for personal and professional wellbeing.’

Professor Rodell added: ‘It’s not the being stressed part that’s a problem. We found that if I perceive you as stressed, I actually see you as more competent.’

She said the moral of the study is for employees to think carefully before boasting about their heavy workload or overloaded schedule.

‘If you genuinely feel stressed, it’s okay to find the right confidant to share with and talk about it,’ she added. ‘But be mindful that it is not a badge of honour to be bragged about—that will backfire.’

It is also important for managers to recognise the behavior, said Professor Rodell.

‘It’s not benign,’ she added. ‘It not only harms the bragging co-worker. If employees see somebody bragging about their stress, it will have a spillover effect that can have bigger implications for the workplace.’