Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

This week, Stephen T. Stone takes both top spots on the insightful side. In first place, it’s a preemptive comment on our post about five Section 230 cases that made online communities better:

Three reminders for the inevitable trolls:

1. The First Amendment allows these platforms to moderate third-party speech as they see fit; Section 230 is what gives them the necessary protection from legal liability for how they decide to moderate third-party speech.
2. A privately owned open-to-the-public platform is still private property that has no obligation of any kind to carry all legally protected speech.
3. No one can oppose Section 230 without lying about it.

In second place, it’s a comment about laws that aim to ban library books:

The best libraries offend everyone. The worst libraries are those the GOP wants to create.

For editor’s choice on the insightful side, we’ve got a couple anonymous comments about the public records showing that cops love to surveil people who protest cops. First, it’s an explanation of why everyone should care:

Unconstitutional surveillance, unconstitutional stop and frisk, unconstitutional profiling, shooting peaceful protesters in the face with less lethals, kneeling on the necks of suspects, illegal searches and detainments, “civil” forfeiture, etc.

Any violation of human, civil, or constitutional rights by a cop is a violation of your rights, even if you’re not the direct victim of the illegal conduct. You share your rights with others. When theirs are threatened, so are yours.

Next, it’s a more general comment about how bad cops are at their jobs:

Teachers tend to be more capable of defusing situations and coping with people in crisis than police officers. US law enforcement practices are akin to sending anger management issue jocks to beat up the autistic kids.

Over on the funny side, our first place winner is an anonymous comment about Congress’s impossible demands around Section 230 and content moderation:

Man, if only there was a government organization that did all this research on tech stuff and reported its findings to Congress…

Some OFFICE that could help the Congressional Research Service…

In second place, it’s mcinsand suggesting that Congress turn its attention to other things:

Before working on Section 230, Perfect Moderation, And Only Nice People Allowed Online, why not focus on goals that would matter more:

1) require that legislators have at least an IQ above room temperature
2) get us back to having a legitimate Supreme Court

For editor’s choice on the funny side, we start out with a comment from 31Bob about the desperate attempt to gather love for ShotSpotter via an online form:

Gentlemen/ladies/folksofotherpersuasions, we have a mission to make the webform go explodies.

You cannot enter text, but you can use names like, “Shotspotter Doesnt Work” or “Shotspotter sucks” or “shotspotter is a waste of money”.

They aren’t stupid, but they had to leave some free text fields and I believe most of the internet knows what to do with those.

Finally, it’s Bloof with a comment about the saga of Craig Wright, the fake Satoshi:

The current world population is 8,110,481,991 as of Tuesday, May 21, 2024 according to the most recent United Nations estimates, 8,110,481,990 of them are now more likely to be Satoshi Nakamoto than Craig Wright.

Given the damage crypto is doing to the environment, being Satoshi isn’t something a sane man would want to be remembered for, fortunately Craig won’t be, despite his efforts, he’ll never be more than just another grifter in a space packed with them.

That’s all for this week, folks!