My obsessive routines are affecting my marriage

DEAR DEIDRE: Every time I come in from work, I have to wipe my feet 20 times on the doormat.

After that, I must take my shoes off, then wash my hands in very hot water for five minutes. I have these routines because I don’t want anything bad to happen to me.

I’m a married man of 42 and I’ve been like this since I was in school.
It all started when my primary school friends dared each other to walk home without stepping on a grid or manhole. I became obsessed with it.

One day, I stepped on a manhole. And that evening, my cat got run over.

Ever since then, I’ve been stuck doing my routines.

I got into hand-washing during lockdown and I insist that our house is vacuumed top to bottom, every single day.

I even pack my sandwiches for work in a certain way, and count my tools back into my toolbox at work. If I go wrong, I have to start again.

These routines are affecting my relationship with my wife, but nobody understands.

DEIDRE SAYS: What you describe is classic obsessive-compulsive disorder.

But you can get help. As it’s now affecting your marriage, it’s important you do so.

See my support pack, Overcoming Obsessions, and find emotional support through Anxiety UK (anxietyuk.org.uk, tel: 03444 775 774).

Take baby steps to prove nothing bad will happen if you break your routines, such as only wiping your feet 18 times.