Men found a surprising new way to lie on dating apps
Men are not having a good time on dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. But honestly, no one has been having a good time on those apps for a while. So in an age of increasingly-niche dating apps and profit-driven subscription models making the popular ones even worse, how are the boys supposed to get more matches?
The solution posed by some on the internet for the past few years is, "can I pretend to be gay to get more likes from women?"
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Gaming dating app algorithms
While that may seem stupid at best and a devious violation of boundaries at worst, the belief that switching sexualities will increase one's chance of getting more likes is based on some common misconceptions of dating app algorithms.
In the past, Tinder's algorithm used to be based on the Elo rating system. Originally developed for ranking chess players, this algorithm helped gauge the attractiveness and popularity of users within the app. Every new user on the app started with a baseline score. This score changed based on how others interacted with your profile; if many users liked you, your score went up, and if fewer users showed interest, your score may have gone down. The app strived to match you with users who had similar scores, increasing the likelihood of mutual interest. Additionally, your score constantly updated as you and others interacted, ensuring that matches remained relevant over time.
As of a few years ago, however, Tinder claimed that it no longer used Elo, and its algorithm adjusted based on every Like or Nope. Hinge, meanwhile, apparently relies on the Gale-Shapley algorithm, which was first created to optimize pairs in "trades" like organ donations. Bumble didn't reveal any details about its algorithm when Mashable asked in 2021.
No matter what, dating app algorithms are esoteric and ripe for users to try and "game" them.
A common complaint from men on the internet is that they're just not getting any matches from women. The reasoning behind this is complicated and multifaceted. Dating apps are overwhelmingly male-dominated — the ratio of men to women on dating apps is 2:1 generally — meaning women are more likely to prioritize quality over quantity. The dilemma straight men believe they're facing on dating apps is two-fold: Their dating pool is small and intentionally picky (and for valid reasons), and they believe not getting likes decreases their "score" on the algorithm (even if the apps might not work that way).
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This leaves many men feeling overlooked and frustrated, making "hacks" or shortcuts seem appealing despite their questionable ethics and effectiveness. So their "solution" is to temporarily change their preference to gay men. Because of the stereotype of hypersexuality in the gay community, the thought among straight men who do this is that gay men have "lower standards" when swiping for potential matches. Thus, they'd get more matches and somehow seem more attractive in the algorithm's eyes. And beyond the supposed benefits of the "hack" itself, some cis men find it extremely validating to go from zero to 50+ likes.
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An unethical dating "hack"
"Being a dating coach who's posted about other ways to 'game the apps,' I think lying about one's sexuality is taking it too far," said Genny Diehl in an email to Mashable. Diehl, who goes by @datingcoachdiehl on TikTok, is a popular user on the platform who gives Gen Z hacks on how to use Hinge and have better dates.
"There's less manipulative ways to get an influx of likes [i.e] turning off age or location dealbreakers — where there's still a chance you might actually go out with someone who's just one year or one mile outside your age/location range," Diehl wrote. "And even those shouldn't be used frequently [or] taken very seriously."
Diehl wrote that not only does changing one's sexuality cross a line, but it also doesn't even work.
"Getting your profile flooded with likes [using] quick hacks like that do not actually increase your chances of meeting someone special or even matching with anyone these guys would be excited about," she said.
It's also unclear why these men believe that matching with other men would boost their profile among women users.
When reaching out to inquire about the validity of this "dating hack," Bumble and Hinge declined to comment. Tinder didn't respond to Mashable's request for comment.
For the most part, the comments in a lot of the Reddit threads linked in this article outright call out how bad this idea is. Dating apps are already a miserable experience for LGBTQ users, and having to sort through straight men trying to "hack the algorithm" can be pretty disheartening.
"At the end of the day, it's (mostly) real people you're swiping on and so they should be treated with some amount of dignity," Diehl wrote. "Would a man pretend to be gay in real life to get more women to approach him? Would he start speaking in a stereotypically 'gay' way and wear rainbows just so women pay more attention? It wouldn't get him to his (assumed) goal of either sleeping with more women or meeting someone special."
The Elo algorithm was, in theory, designed to create a balanced and engaging experience, but it wasn't a silver bullet for improving one's dating prospects. The truth is, the quality of your profile and the way you engage with others matter far more. Instead of resorting to deceitful tactics, there should be a focus on enhancing profiles with genuine photos and thoughtful bios, and engaging in meaningful conversations. By presenting your authentic self and being patient, you're far more likely to find meaningful connections, rather than just a temporary spike in likes.
"Getting flooded with likes is only as useful as the dopamine rush it'd give you," Diehl wrote. "If being more desirable in the dating world is your goal though, invest energy beyond maximizing Elo scores."