Disappointing News For The Fans: The NBA Finals Will Be Settled In Arbitration
If you’ve enjoyed watching the 2024 NBA playoffs so far, brace yourself for a huge bummer: The NBA just announced that the Finals will be settled in arbitration instead of basketball.
Ugh. Basketball fans across the country must be devastated right now.
Though fans have clearly enjoyed the first four on-court games of this year’s Finals series, NBA commissioner Adam Silver told press this morning that from this point forward, the league will instead let lawyers representing the Eastern and Western Conference champs vie for the Larry O’Brien Trophy in a high-stakes dispute resolution session overseen by an independent third-party arbitrator. The move was met with swift criticism by players, fans, and press alike, but Commissioner Silver stood his ground, explaining that league officials felt arbitration is “more fair than basketball,” “much quieter than basketball,” and “easier on athletes’ bodies, which are probably tired from playing so much basketball lately.”
The private dispute resolution procedure will still be broadcast live on TV and held on an NBA regulation court outfitted with a large oakwood table, office chairs, and pitchers of water—but all players and coaching staff will sit on the sidelines, quietly watching their lawyer to argue the team’s case. Likewise, all 15,000+ fans who attend the Finals will now be required to wear courthouse appropriate clothing, and will be ejected by bailiffs strolling the aisles if they interrupt arbitration proceedings with any outbursts of cheering or chants.
What a letdown for basketball lovers everywhere!
Damn. This sport really isn’t what it used to be! To Commissioner Silver’s credit, all rule changes are initially met with pushback from fans, but in most situations they quickly become normalized. Even so, not having any basketball playing in the Finals at all just seems like a step too far for the game—maybe we’re being too harsh, but watching arbitration proceedings definitely seems like less fun than watching basketball! What do you think? Let us know in the comments!