Taylor Hills Opens Up About Suffering a Miscarriage for the First Time
Taylor Hill has revealed that she suffered a pregnancy loss a few years ago.
In a new interview released on Monday (June 17), the 28-year-old model opened up about suffering a miscarriage for the first time.
“About three years ago, I had a miscarriage. I’ve never spoken about it before,” Taylor shared On Purpose With Jay Shetty podcast. “My family knows and my close friends know.”
Keep reading to find out more…Taylor said the pregnancy was “really strange circumstance,” explaining that she was on an IUD when she learned she was pregnant.
“I wasn’t actively trying to get pregnant. I was engaged to my husband [Daniel Fryer]. We were not planning on starting a family for a while,” Taylor explained. “I was not in the headspace to get pregnant. I didn’t understand it.”
She went on to recalling feeling “shocked” and “sad” when her doctor first told her she was pregnant. In addition to being “scared” about the pregnancy, Daniel was stuck in London because of COVID-19 travel restrictions, which added to Taylor‘s stress.
Since Taylor conceived while on an IUD, she was told that there was a 50/50 chance that the pregnancy would survive. At six weeks, Taylor got an ultrasound and heard the heartbeat, which she gave her some reassurance about becoming a mom at 25.
Taylor said she felt “somewhat ready” and was “coming to so many terms of acceptance” when she reached the nine-week mark. Unfortunately, that’s when she suffered a miscarriage.
“I start seeing what looks like fresh blood,” Taylor recalled, noting that she was home “alone” with only her dog, since her husband was still stuck in London.
“I call my husband and I’m just devastated. We’re both crying,” Taylor shared. “I could just tell he was so heartbroken that he couldn’t be there. I think that was very painful for him too, both of us.”
Taylor then said that the miscarriage took a big toll on her mental health.
“I felt a sense of failure. I felt a sense of betrayal of my own body of my own self,” Taylor admitted. “It’s OK to be mad at yourself. You don’t have to get over it right away.”
For a long time, Taylor struggled with dealing with all of the feelings of initially not wanting a baby, to being ready, to being heartbroken over the miscarriage.
While she said that she accepted that the “timing wasn’t right” and believed that “everything happens for a reason,” she was “absolutely devastated that I’m not a mother.”
“The day it happened, I just sobbed to [my best friend],” Taylor recalled. “She held me, and I held her.”
After taking time to reflect and heal, Taylor now understands that it’s “not my fault” and “my body didn’t fail me.” She also noted that the pregnancy – which most likely failed due to the IUD conception – “wasn’t healthy.”
“Three years later, I have so much more perspective. I’ve given myself so much time to heal from that,” Taylor shared. “It no longer feels like an open, gaping wound. It feels like a scare. It’s definitely still with me. There’s a mark there.”
She also said that the miscarriage is “still a tender spot” for her, which she believes might always stay that way.
“It’s an injury that I feel like my spirit has endured,” Taylor added. “I think there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.”
After taking time to heal, Taylor said she’s now “confident and comfortable to talk about it,” which she finds to be a good sign.
Just recently, an Oscar-winning actress also opened up about suffering a miscarriage.