Armie Hammer Is 'Grateful' for All Those Cannibalism Accusations, Actually

Over the weekend, Armie Hammer appeared on a podcast quite aptly titled Painful Lessons to—once again—break his supposed silence on all those pesky cannibalism allegations. “People called me a cannibal, and everyone believed them,” Hammer, the same dude who once wrote, "I am 100% a cannibal. I want to eat you” to a woman, said on the podcast. “They’re like, ‘Yep, that guy ate people.’ Like, what? What are you talking about? Do you know what you have to do to be a cannibal? You have to eat people! How am I going to be a cannibal?! It was bizarre.” Hammer, I have to note, also once sent this text: “You just live to obey and be my slave. I will own you. That’s my soul. My brain. My spirit. My body. Would you come and be my property till you die? If I wanted to cut off one of your toes and keep it with me in my pocket so I always had a piece of you in my possession?” But, yeah. Super bizarre of us to believe you might be capable of mutilating or eating women. The actor and—at one time—supposed time-share salesman, explained that though all of that backlash was difficult, he now feels nothing but gratitude. You know, big "smile because it happened" vibes. “I’m actually now at a place where I’m really grateful for it because where I was in my life before all of that stuff happened to me, I didn’t feel good," Hammer said. "I never felt satisfied, I never had enough, I never was in a place where I was happy with myself...where I had self-esteem." Who knew all it took to like yourself is to be publicly accused of making meals out of the women you date? Throw those self-help books in the trash! “I never knew how to give myself love. I never knew how to give myself self-validation but I had this job where I was able to get it from so many people that I never had to learn how to give it to myself,” he continued. “It was an ego death, a career death. A neutron bomb went off in my life. It killed off [everything]." Ego death? Where??? Given Hammer's never taken accountability for the lion's share of wrongdoing despite the number of women who've maintained horrific claims of varying abuse and is now going on lame podcasts to purport his innocence...clearly, that thing is titanium. Oh, and in case anyone was worried about his lack of employment, Hammer said he's currently writing a screenplay. Kevin Spacey will star. Johnny Depp will direct. Just kidding. (For now.) Congratulations to these Tony winners--many of which, I'll note, I was absolutely right about.  [People] Chappell Roan, you will always be famous. [Daily Mail] "Our hero," J.Lo writes of Ben Affleck for Father's Day alongside what appears to be a black and white still from...Pearl Harbor. She knows that was all pretend right? [TMZ] Need to field questions about your ex in public for some reason? Take a page from Jodie Turner-Smith. [Page Six] Kate Middleton is alive and seemingly well. [E! News]