Serena Williams Struggles With a Common Sports-Parent Problem & It’s So Complicated

Kids are fickle. They are obsessed with bananas one week, then won’t touch them the next. They’ll watch their favorite movie over and over and over, until one day they wake up and never want to see it again. So, when you sign your kids up for sports, how do you handle it when they don’t put in much effort — or just get bored of playing? Serena Williams opened up about this common sports-parent struggle in a vulnerable new interview.

The 23-time Grand Slam champion, who is mom to daughters Olympia, 6, and Adira, who was born in August 2023, with husband Alexis Ohanian, shared that she doesn’t know how to find the right balance between pushing and respecting her kids’ boundaries. “I always look at my dad, and I think, ‘How were you able to do that?’” Williams told The New York Times, per PEOPLE, about her dad Richard who coached Williams and her sister Venus. “Because I’m like, ‘Oh, they’re so cute. I just want them to relax and I don’t want to over-push them.’”

The only problem? The retired tennis pro feels conflicted about not pushing them. “But I would be devastated if I wasn’t pushed, because we wouldn’t be having this interview and there would never have been a Serena Williams. So I feel so fortunate that I had an opportunity to have that extra oomph,” she continued, adding that she’s struggling with “connecting to that extra push.” “Because it’s definitely worth it, I can confirm from experience,” she continued.

“But what do I see? The 8-month-old is so tiny, but Olympia is such a bright light, and she’s so athletic, to the point where it’s just not even humanly possible,” Williams added. “Even Venus, she was like, ‘That kid has more talent than you and I combined,’ and she’s not lying. So I can see how my dad may have seen some potential in us. I’m just trying to figure out a way to harness all that. I already told my dad, ‘Maybe you have to coach her, because I’m too nice.'”

The issue is complicated for anyone, but especially as a parent who knows that being pushed helped her achieve a successful career. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests parents be careful of “trying to rush your child’s accomplishments” or of setting up “unrealistic expectations” of what your kids can do. Additionally, they recommend giving positive feedback and focusing on having fun and being a good sport as opposed to putting pressure on your kids to win.

A little pushing can be good and even teach your child to become more confident and resilient, according to the Child Mind Institute. But be aware of signs that you’re pushing too hard, which include: a complete mood change or irritability in your child, extreme tantrums, or excessive fighting about playing sports. Of course, you should always check with your child’s doctor or therapist if you have any questions about your child’s behavior.

The In the Arena: Serena Williams star is also learning how to let her kids be OK, no matter what they go through. “I think [the] second time around is — I’m a little but more like, you know, if Adira falls, I don’t die like with Olympia,” Williams told Entertainment Tonight earlier this month. “Now I’m like, ‘Oh, she’s tough, she’ll be fine.’ And she is tough.”

In the interview, she revealed what advice she would give to her 14-year-old self, which offers another clue into her parenting mindset: “Relax a little bit more.” Williams explained, “I was so intense on the court and wanted to be perfect at every moment and obviously that’s not possible. So, just take a deep breath and just relax and, you know, I think that would have helped me out a little bit.”

Before you go, check out these celebrity kiddos who love sports.