'It takes a village.' But the modern 'village' looks different for moms today
AUSTIN (KXAN) -- In a time when technology allows us to all be more connected than ever before, a report by the baby product company MomCozy found more than half of moms surveyed are lonely.
The old adage that "it takes a village" to raise a child, is proving harder to find, according to survey results. More than half of the 1,187 moms who completed a survey by MomCozy this year said they either don't have a village or they only have somewhat of a village.
"Some moms would go so far say it's kind of a myth. You know, I thought that I would receive the support and my expectations. And the reality is completely different after I move into motherhood,'' says MomCozy marketing manager and mom Lalaina Rabary. Through her job, Rabary has spoken to countless moms struggling and desperate for support.
"There's just a lot of things that are shifting and changing as women move into motherhood that they just don't know about, and it impacts a mom's mental health. Villages are places where we can go to help share the load, mental load the emotional load of parenting, and without that, they just are isolated," says Rabary.
Though some moms said they have friends they can lean on, it's not easy.
"Some moms cited lack of access to childcare, affordable childcare. In order to have a relationship or to cultivate the village you need time, time costs money where your children's gonna go. And so they're just trying to figure out ways where they can get the support where they can and cultivate the friendships and cultivate the village where they can, and that can look so many different ways," said Rabary.
The MomCozy survey found that 55% said they're going back to work, but only 30% had full time childcare.
"What are the rest of our working mothers doing? They're trying to stitch together options to make sure that their children are cared for," said Rabary.
The cost of childcare today can be a huge burden for families.
"Twenty two percent of gross household income is childcare, it actually increased $14,000. This is from pregnancy and newborn they did report. And during the pandemic, we lost over 100,000 childcare workers, and there's no childcare subsidies. So what are what are parents supposed to do? You know, people are doing the best they can. But those are factors that really influence somebody's experience," said Rabary.
Though these issues are hard on working families, there are ways to connect.
Lalaina has held personal meet ups in her neighborhood and through work.
"When it comes to communal support, is more online forums for moms to connect with one another and expanding those networks where moms can feel supported, but also mindset, a collective call to recognize different parenting styles to help stop the stigma around the choices that moms make, they really, really want that," says Rabary.