I had a stranger’s baby when I was engaged to another man – my fiancee even watched as I pushed and panted on his sofa
A CHILDFREE woman chose to have a stranger’s baby so she could still experience pregnancy without having the “tie” of having a child.
Kim Smith, 29, gave birth on the sofa while her fiancee stood by to take photos of the labour.
Her passion for pregnancy came from with fond memories of surrogacy as her mum, Emma, 52, had six surrogate babies.
She says she knew from the age of 14 she didn’t want to be a mum – but was drawn to following in her own mother’s footsteps.
After being sure she wasn’t going to change her mind, she submitted an application through UK surrogacy agency COTS aged 24.
Kim, who is engaged to be married, has now been a surrogate for two couples and found pregnancy “fascinating” and loved creating a family for them.
She gave birth last month to a boy to make couple, Chris and Tom, both 34, parents and says it has been “lovely watching them become dads”.
Kim, who works on the railways, from east London, said: “I wanted to help people.
“And on the selfish side – I wanted to experience pregnancy and not have the tie of having a baby at the end.
“I found pregnancy absolutely fascinating.”
Kim’s mum Emma, a stay-at-home mum, decided to be a surrogate after feeling her family was complete and seeing an advert for COTS on TV.
Kim said: “She had really enjoyed pregnancy.
“I’ve got really fond memories of resting my head on my mum’s stomach and feeling the baby moving.
“Because I grew up with it, it was the most normal thing.”
Kim knew from her early teens that she wanted to be a surrogate.
She said: “I wanted to carry babies for other people.
“I have also been adamant that I don’t want to have kids.
“I get the best job in the world. I get to be the fun aunt.”
Kim waited a few years to make sure she was certain it was something she wanted to do and submitted her application in 2019.
She said: “I knew it was the path for me.”
Kim chatted to a few couples before settling on her first set of intended parents.
She said: “You’ve got to make sure you’re on the same page.
“We had difficult conversations.”
Kim is a traditional surrogate and uses artificial insemination in the comfort of her own home.
She fell pregnant in late 2020 after four months of trying.
She said: “It was a relief.
“We were close during the pregnancy. We spoke regularly. They came down for all the appointments.
“Seeing her face when she saw her baby moving, it was unforgettable.
“We had some really special moments.”
What is surrogacy?
Surrogacy is the name given for a type of pregnancy where a woman carries and gives birth to another person’s baby.
The surrogate mother is then expected to give up the baby at birth, so it can be raised by the couple who originally wanted the baby.
Surrogacy is often an option for those unable to have children themselves, or for same sex couples.
According to surrogacy charity Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy (COTS), there are two different types of surrogacy.
- Traditional surrogacy: When the surrogate uses her own egg fertilised with the intended father’s sperm.
- Gestational surrogacy: The surrogate carries the intended parent’s genetic child conceived through IVF, for which specialist doctors are needed.
While it is illegal for surrogates to be paid, they can receive expenses up to around £20,000 for their services according to COTS.
It was when she was six months into the pregnancy that Kim met her now fiancee Dilara, 27.
But rather than being put off by Kim’s unusual situation, Dilara was fascinated by it.
Dilara said: “I’d never really given much thought to surrogacy.
“I just found it really interesting.
“I just remember being quite excited about it. When she was talking about future surrogacy I couldn’t wait to be a part of them.”
Kim gave birth to a baby boy via emergency c-section in spring 2021 after a 24-hour labour.
She said: “I heard his first cry. He was bundled up and taken to his parents. I have footage of the moment.”
Kim saw the couple a few more times but now says the contact is minimal.
She waited until November 2022 when she started looking for another couple to be a surrogate for.
Kim is due to get married to Dilara who also works on the railways, in September 2024 and didn’t want to be pregnant for the wedding.
This time around she had more of a checklist of things she wanted in a couple.
Kim said: “I really wanted to carry for a gay couple.
“I met Chris and Tom and we were chatting in the pub for four hours.
“I felt that spark.
“I wanted the relationship to last a lifetime.”
Kim fell pregnant within a month in summer 2023 and had a “plain sailing” pregnancy.
The four went for scans together, and had dinners and sleepovers.
She said: “I moved into Chris and Tom’s from 39 weeks pregnant.”
I’ll be an auntie for the baby as well
Kim Smith
Kim had a home birth at Chris and Tom’s and laboured for five hours before birthing their son in May 2024 weighing 8lbs 10oz.
She said: “I gave birth on the sofa into his dads’ arms.
“It was an incredible and powerful moment.
“It was lovely watching them become dads.”
This time Dilara – who doesn’t have any interest in carrying a baby herself – got to be there from the beginning.
She said: “I loved it.
“To see this lovely couple, to see them growing a family because of what Kim is going – it’s been fascinating.
“I have got nothing but good words. It’s the ultimate show of love.
“The whole thing felt quite effortless. She did a very good job with it. She’s very in tune with her body.
“I was taking photos the entire time [during labour]. I just remember saying ‘you’re doing fine. Just let it happen’.
“It was quite a magical moment.
“We’re quite lucky with Chris and Tom. It feels effortless. It doesn’t feel like a chore. They are like an extended family.
“It gives you hope for the next time.”
Kim says their little boy is now “chunky” and “healthy” and she has continued to see them loads.
She said: “We’ve all become a huge part of each others lives.
“I’ll be an auntie for the baby as well.”
Kim hopes to be a surrogate again but will wait at least a year before finding others to help.
She said: “I’m going to see how I go.
“But I want to continue doing surrogacy at least a couple of times.”
Kim says surrogacy is “not something everyone could do” and says anyone considering it should not “rush into it”.
She said: “You have got to make sure you feel that spark.
“It’s very intimate.”
You can follow Kim on Instagram @thetravellingsurrogate