Harriette Cole: Should I stay loyal or report this employee?

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a customer service manager at a retail store, and I have been receiving complaints from customers about one of my employees being slow and unhelpful.

The challenging part is that this employee is close to me and is known for her kind nature.

I have provided feedback and coaching to improve her customer service skills, and I see her working hard and trying, but the complaints persist. This is impacting the store’s reputation.

Normally I would need to submit a report, but I’m contemplating whether to do so in this situation. Is it more ethical to report or be loyal to my people?

— Kind but Slow

DEAR KIND BUT SLOW: I once had an employee who was one of the kindest people you could ever meet. He also had a magnetic personality that attracted people to him and instantly made people like him. Unfortunately, he was slow at many tasks, and it could be frustrating to wait for things to be completed or to be finished well.

I talked to him about this and encouraged him to work harder at task management and completion so that his winning personality would be matched by his excellent job performance rather than being the reason people gave him a pass. It took time, but with tremendous effort, he improved.

Your friend needs ongoing coaching. She needs a cheerleader to help improve her skills. She may also need to have a shift in responsibilities that takes her away from the customers.

Is there anything else she can do that is essential? If so, consider that rather than reporting her or letting her go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As a college student working on a group thesis with three classmates, I’ve hit a roadblock with one of them.

This person is constantly missing meetings and blowing off deadlines, leaving the rest of us to carry the load. When I finally called her out on it, she got defensive and blamed personal stuff for her no-shows.

It’s frustrating to see our project suffer because of one person’s slacking.

I know we need to address this situation and make sure everyone is pulling their weight, but I’m not exactly sure how to approach it without stirring up more drama.

How can I get this person to step up and take her responsibilities seriously without causing a big rift and sounding insensitive?

— Dead Weight

DEAR DEAD WEIGHT: My experience shows that in most group activities, there is at least one slacker. Is it fair? No, but it is common.

You can talk to this person as a group and individually to outline what needs to be done and when, but the rest of you are probably going to have to do the work yourselves in order for it to be completed.

When I was in college, I was in a class with one of my best friends, and we worked together on a group project. Shockingly, she completely dropped the ball and did not complete her portion of the assignment. The rest of us ended up scrambling to finish her work. Because we did it — and did it well, I might add — we got a good grade.

I had to personally forgive my friend for being so irresponsible.

The lesson I learned is that you have to be prepared to do it all, even when it’s not your responsibility.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.