The Real Housewives of Dubai Recap: Mother Dearest

I know it’s only been three episodes, but I must admit that I am enjoying spending time with this gaggle of ladies so far. Over the last three weeks, we have had group events in each episode, consistent one-on-one scenes, and high-stakes drama over low-stakes events driven by deeply delusional people. Perhaps I am still deep in recovery from the trauma of the last season of Potomac and in disarray over the state of Bravo at the moment (does Kenya or Theresa have a job anymore? Does anyone know?), but the relatively calmer waters here feel like a refreshing breeze on a nice summer day.

The week’s big event is Caroline’s best friend Michael throwing a “Good Riddance” party. While the piles of debris inside what I presume once used to be a guest room don’t make it obvious, Caroline and Sergio are finally ready to move out of the house, much to the relief and of the best friend whose welcome they had worn out some seven sex positions ago. Naturally, a party is required to celebrate her eviction and the preservation of their friendship. Unfortunately, it is the only relationship that is on the upswing for her at the moment.

While Stanbury’s best friend is eager to celebrate her progress, her husband is not taking things in stride the same way. Sergio seems to be lost at sea as a former middling soccer star who absconded to the Gulf with no real career to speak of and a wife who is on her second marriage with an adult child. Now that their honeymoon period is long past, Stanbury seems intent on getting her groove back while Sergio is clinging to her like a puppy with serious anxiety issues. I know that people on Tiktok like to joke about wanting a golden retriever boyfriend; Sergio’s level of neediness and clinginess is what that looks like in real life.

To Caroline’s credit, she recognizes the distance and her part in it, and is proactive in trying to repair the issue … by calling up Princess Diana’s hypnotherapist, as one naturally does after meeting them on your podcast. Now, I am not a scholar in the world of hypnotherapy — I skipped the optional hypnotist event during first-year college orientation week to go to a party — so I can’t personally speak to how real or fake the science behind quitting cigarettes or accessing your inner child via suggestive commands works. I will say that, whatever the case may be, Caroline seemed to access a genuine memory of her feeling neglected as a young child being shipped off to boarding school by her mother. The parallel that the hypnotherapist drew between her mother’s unyielding behavior with her and how she has become sharp with Sergio was a genuinely insightful one, as well. Stanbury doesn’t treat Sergio as a peer but rather as a vibrator with a chore wheel, and this leads to her daughter Yasmine not respecting him much either. Sergio definitely feels that rejection but lacks the emotional range to express that properly; instead, he throws a tantrum at his wife, acknowledging that she has to adjust her behavior, not even realizing that it is her admitting she needs to improve.

While Stanbury may be in a bit of a rocky road with her husband, she is truly at her wit’s end with Caroline Brooks. To her credit, she took finding out that Brooks called her a see you next Tuesday in stride; her British sensibilities wouldn’t allow her to be so dramatic about a word like “cunt.” She remains baffled about the level of ire,  however, and rightfully so: if Brooks claims she was only angry on Taleen’s behalf, and her and Taleen had squashed the issue then why does the energy remain so hostile between them two? The issue is so indecipherable that Stanbury chose to disinvite Brooks from her party in the hopes that they could meet in person and squash their issues. Fortunately, the disinvitation would not eliminate all drama from the function: Yasmine used the cake toppers as an opportunity to not only metaphorically bite her mother’s head off but swap Stanbury’s head with her husband’s, effectively putting cake Sergio in a dress and real Sergio in an existential crisis until he was thrown into the pool with see-through pants. Teenagers, don’t you love them?

A few conspiracies are bandied about over Brooks’ behavior — yet again, it’s vaguely suggested that the stress from work has prompted an uptick in drinking — but the picture doesn’t really start to come clear until Brooks, Taleen, and Lesa debrief (Lesa making a welcome return to the picture after taking some time with her mother). After Taleen and Brooks poorly attempt to obfuscate the events that happened at Taleen’s party — with Taleen comically attempting to pretend she never heard Brooks call Stanbury a cunt and Brooks pretending she was too drunk to remember what she said — Lesa cuts through the noise and says that she believes Brooks is worked up over Stanbury mending fences with her and Ayana. Brooks offers a small rebuttal, but it doesn’t land because Lesa is right on the money. When she and Stanbury finally sit down one-on-one, it’s not really to talk about Taleen; it’s to talk about Ayan.

Brooks feels wounded because, in her eyes, she went to bat for Caroline Stanbury and broke ranks with Ayan and Lesa at the reunion, taking many public hits to do so while the trio exchanged nasty blows at each other. Now, the dust has settled, and the three women are ready to move on after calling each other escorts. Brooks feels left without a paddle and ready to overcompensate for the only new cast member who she feels is a guaranteed ally, Taleen. The logic would be understandable if she was invested in taking any bit of accountability for her own behavior — namely, her inability to say sorry for anything she does. Chanel Ayan is like Ramona Singer: she says sorry quicker than you can curse her out for her transgression, love it or leave it. Brooks won’t apologize; she will simply give you an explanation for her behavior and expect you to accept it as an apology. Case in point: she was 30 minutes late for her one-on-one with Stanbury to hash out their issues, and instead of expressing remorse, she explains that being a mom and having a business, things all the women on the cast deal with, is uniquely hard for her. As Stanbury pointed out, “We all have our things.” Throughout the conversation, Brooks refused to just embrace her envy or anger, sticking to the coward’s escape of “I think we both have something to work on.” I have heard more insightful observations from a Cam Newton Instagram caption. If Brooks wants to build empathy for her she will need to offer it first.

Golden Nuggets

• Sara’s dating journey introduced me to a side of her that I genuinely enjoy. Wacky blind date setup questions? Check. (Adding “aliens are a big deal in my life” to all my app bios). Checking a diaspora Arab on their horrible Arabic? Check! Being intentional about who she wants to bring into her life and speaking to her son honestly about her previous mistakes? Honest, endearing, and requires a level of humility. She may go too hard on the self-help gimmicks, but this was an amusing showing from her.

• We have a new friend on the show, Saba! We don’t have much from her yet but we will see how this develops.

• Ayan having Lesa saved as ‘Lesa Hottest Jamaican’ in her phone is perfect. I am so sad we are going to see the demise of this friendship.

• I know I haven’t written about Lesa’s mother much yet, but it simply hasn’t been narratively compelling. I think they have a beautiful story and journey together, but there isn’t much to explore yet. I hope to see that change!!!