I’ve been married to wife for 30 years but I want to have sex with men

DEAR DEIDRE: ALTHOUGH I have always fancied men around my age, I have never gone through with meeting one.

I am a man of 58 and have a 55-year-old wife. We have been married for 30 years, but it has been sexless for decades.

And even though I love my wife and don’t want to leave her, I am now tempted to meet a man for sex.

My wife and I met as teenagers and both of us were very inexperienced. We never had what I would consider an active sex life.

After secretly making contact with a few men online, it would appear that I’m not alone in my lonely marriage. Many of the men I have spoken to are in sexless relationships, especially the ones around my age.

A couple of these men have asked if I would be up for a drink, and maybe a “bit of fun”.

I have resisted but am increasingly tempted to meet a couple of them, to see where it goes.

I feel guilty for even thinking of it, as I’m married.

Please help.

DEIDRE SAYS: Please keep resisting. It is no more OK to cheat on your wife with another guy than with another woman.

It may be that you have repressed gay feelings, but if you go ahead you are likely to wreck your marriage.

It sounds like what you want is an intimate relationship with your wife.

Share with her how unhappy you are, that you miss affection and ask if there’s something she’s not saying.

If nothing changes, talk to a sex and relationship counsellor.

Cosrt.org.uk can put you in contact with reputable therapists.

Please focus on your marriage – and only if you are free to do so, agree to meet anyone else.

Otherwise the fallout will be far harder and more hurtful to deal with.