My wife was incredible at sex party but she can’t let go of guilt
DEAR DEIDRE: I persuaded my wife to attend a sex party and now she’s worried I’ll think she’s easy.
We’ve been married for 10 years and we have a little boy of eight. I’m a painter and decorator and my wife works for a car hire business.
We have a great marriage and lots of fun in the bedroom. I’m 45 and she’s 38. I have been married before and in a former life with my ex, we enjoyed the swinging scene.
A colleague was raving about a sex party he’d attended recently and it reignited my interest.
So I broached the idea of us going to a similar “party’ with my wife.
The following day she told me she’d thought about it and was willing to give it a try.
Two weeks later, we were in. We left our phones in a locker and we went through to the bar.
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We both tore through the first couple of drinks – I was certainly more nervous than I expected. My wife got a lot of admiring looks which she lapped up.
Within an hour, she had two guys kissing and caressing her while I got touchy-feely with another woman.
My wife had sex with three different men that night and I had sex with one person. When we got home, we had an amazing sex session together while recounting the night’s events.
It was a huge turn on.
So I was surprised the next day, when my wife reflected on our evening, saying she’d gone too far and that I should have stopped her.
She’s worried I’ll look at her in a different light – as somebody who is dirty and who’ll sleep with anyone.
I don’t feel like that but how can I persuade her?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Opening up your relationship can sound thrilling and many believe this will improve a relationship but it can have the completely opposite effect.
Turning a fantasy into reality can bring unexpected emotions to the fore.
To try and ensure you both have a positive experience, good communication including discussing clear rules and boundaries is absolutely essential.
You have a strong relationship so reassure her that you love her and would not judge her for something you encouraged.
Organise a weekend away for the two of you so that you can focus on her. It will give you a chance to reaffirm she is the one you want. My support pack Swapping And Swinging will help too.