My girlfriend can’t cope with me hanging out with my friends
DEAR DEIDRE: WHENEVER I want to go out with my friends, my girlfriend complains.
She thinks I spend too much time with them and I should prioritise our relationship. But I think she’s being insecure and a bit controlling.
I’m 30 and she’s 29. We’ve been together for two years, and although we don’t live together, we have keys to each other’s flats and spend most nights together.
I don’t see my friends that often – a couple of times a month. After I’ve been out with them, I always go back to hers afterwards.
And I have no issue with her seeing her friends either.
Yet I’ve noticed she isn’t socialising as much as she did at the start of our relationship. She wants to be with me all the time.
It’s a bit suffocating. I think it’s important for us both to be independent, as well as a couple.
I do love her and am otherwise happy, but this is bothering me. What should I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Going out with friends and having some independence can enrich a relationship.
You need to talk to your girlfriend and make it clear how important this is to you – and that it is actually good for your relationship.
Allowing her to limit these friendships would be very unhealthy, not only for you, but your relationship.
If she’s insecure, emphasise how much you love her and that you’re happy.
Tell her you like it when she’s sociable and hearing about her friends too.
My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, will help.