Coming out as a Mexican immigrant in Chicago and discovering drag

I met Esteban Pantoja at a Teatro Tariákuri performance in a school auditorium in the South Side more than 10 years ago.

We ran into each other again at several plays until I finally had an opportunity to do interviews as entertainment editor of the now-defunct Hoy Newspaper.

When we started talking, we realized we had things in common: We were born on the same year, we are originally from the same state of Mexico, Guanajuato, and we are from neighboring cities — he is from Moroleón, I'm from Yuriria. We have similar musical and film interests, and we are both immigrants.

That was enough for us to be friends. As a heterosexual woman, I respect the LGBTQ+ community, and regarding Esteban, I admire his courage, talent and people skills.

I've found in Esteban — aka Xebas, La Más Mejor or “la marida” as I call him — a friend, a confidant, a unique kind of “sisterhood” and a friendship like no other, with mutual respect for our differences and points of view.

We talked a little more about what it was like for him to give way to his identity.

“All my life, I have been aware of who I am,” he told me, and acknowledged that coming from a small town, “You don't know what's going on, but you know who you are. That's when the fears settle in, the insecurities, the traumas.”

When he was 14, he immigrated to Chicago with his family. Arriving in this country and this city was a cultural and language shock; he was a teenager who suffered bullying in his last year of elementary school.

“‘What you see, you don't ask,’” Esteban said, quoting a famous late Mexican queer artist, the “Divo de Mexico,” Juan Gabriel. “I'm very feminine. I knew it, but I was in denial.”

It wasn’t until attending Kelly High School, in the Brighton Park neighborhood, that he began to see more people like him. But he was still grappling with his identity in the eyes of others.

He had more female friends and got along well with rockers. One time, someone told him he was gay. He denied it. The guy, who was already fully living his identity, was the one who helped him to “come out” in school, something that was pretty revolutionary 30 years ago.

With his family, the process was different. There was no need for a formal announcement or a heart-to-heart conversation. It was a natural progression, a part of him that was accepted without question.

“It's all been very organic,” he reflected. “Mom and Dad haven't asked me, and I haven’t told them; there was no need. I'm still me."

When he finished high school, Esteban's friendships had become like family.

Always interested in the arts, he was among the young people from the South Side of Chicago who attended youth classes at Radio Arte, an initiative of the National Museum of Mexican Art (NMMA) active from 1998 to 2013.

He studied audio while working a job and began “pretending to be an actor” at Tariákuri Theater Company. His stage name was Xebastián Pantoja.

And then came “La Más Mejor,” his drag queen character. He heard the name in the telenovela, “Prisionera” (Telemundo), starring Venezuelan actress Gabriela Spanic in 2004.

“It was the name of a female boxer character that first appeared in the episode. It was a name that made me laugh, a name that was a pleonasm and was boldly used on national television. It stuck with me,” he said .

In 2005, he began hosting exclusive events for the gay community, playing with his comedic style a bit, until one day he decided to create a character.

“It occurred to me that I should start dressing more gothic and rocker. I gradually put on dark lipstick and eyeliner — but left my beard — and suddenly ‘La Más Mejor’ was born.”

At first, the fact that he was in drag but wearing a beard was shocking and was not understood by the girls who were doing full drag or by the public. But little by little, he won them over with his look.

“It was a turning point when Univision reporter Tony Dandrades interviewed me. This interview catapulted me to local fame, making me a household name on the South Side of Chicago.”

Esteban is dedicating himself more to theater, and from time to time, he goes back to being “La Más Mejor,” which he has even taken to the theater stage as an actor and director.

“Today, I feel more Esteban,” he proclaimed.

Gisela Orozco is a Mexican journalist and translator who has lived in Chicago since 2002. Since then, she has written stories in Spanish about the Mexican and Latino communities.