I have been having sex with friends mum – now she wants a divorce and to run away with me
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been having great sex with my friend’s mum, and she wants to get a divorce and run away with me.
The problem is I don’t want to take our relationship any further.
I am a guy of 34 and my friend’s mum is 51.
I genuinely liked her but as time has gone on I don’t see us together in the future.
I’ve realised I want to meet someone my age who I can have children with.
The thought of letting her down is stressing me out.
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She keeps talking about how we’re going to tell her husband and daughter, who was my friend when we were younger.
Her daughter was in my social group from school but we lost contact over the years.
When I first ran into her mum again last winter, I couldn’t believe how good she looks for her age.
I’d bumped into her when I went to a new coffee shop in town.
It was great catching up on the old times and we said we would keep in touch and exchanged numbers.
Not long after, we arranged to meet again, and she confided in me that she was in a sexless marriage.
Her husband is 62. She surprised me by inviting me over the next day for lunch as he would be at work.
I knew what was coming and agreed to go over.
We ended up having awesome sex almost as soon as I arrived. Since then we have been meeting regularly at her place.
Now she’s pushing to take things further but it’s the last thing I want.
I like her a lot and don’t want to hurt her.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Find a time when you are both calm, and make it clear this affair can’t continue, sooner rather than later.
You feel some sympathy for her but she really needs to sort out her relationship independently of you.
It is only a matter of time before someone discovers what is going on. It could all get very messy.
You’re in danger of being caught up in someone else’s marriage breakdown.
You know what the solution is, you can’t allow this affair to drift on.
Now you know what you want, it wouldn’t be right to lead her on any longer.
Once you have told her, steer clear.
She will be hurt and disappointed but she really does need to sort herself out without you to distract her.
My support pack Your Lover Not Free? explains more.