‘You are so cheap’ people bash mum who refuses to buy daughter’s best friend £1.60 play date snack or even share food
A MUM has been called an a****** on Reddit for not paying for her daughter’s friend to eat while they were on a playdate.
Taking to the Subreddit ‘Am I the A******?’ the mum, whose username is @playdatesnacs, explains her 11-year-old Ellie was invited to go to a soft play area with her friend Sophie, 12.
Everything was fine until the girls, who the woman says both have mental disabilities meaning their mental ages are about six years old, became hungry.
“Sophie’s mom called me yesterday, said that they were at an indoor playground, and Sophie wanted to know if Ellie could come and play.
“Sophie’s mom offered to put me on her punch card (she prepays for 10-20 visits at a time because it’s cheaper) so it would be free for me so I got Ellie in the car and we met them at the playground.
“After about an hour of playing, the girls started to get hungry. I packed a snack for Ellie but Sophie’s mom didn’t have any snacks on her.
“I told her they sell snacks in the front but she claimed that she didn’t have any money on her and asked me to buy Sophie some goldfish. I said sure, Venmo me and I’ll grab some.”
In the US, Venmo is owned by and operates much like PayPal. It is used to pay others online instead of through direct bank payments.
The parent continues by saying she refused to pay for Sophie to have a snack and was sceptical about the mum’s inability to pay for the food.
“I said no, I took care of my kid and it’s not my job to take care of hers too.
“She says she paid for my kid to get in so I could cover the $2 [£1.60] for the goldfish.
“I told her if she wanted me to bring snacks she should’ve told me when she invited me but I won’t be wasting $2 [£1.60] for a $.50 [40p] bag of goldfish because she was unprepared.
“She went up to the front and I don’t know if she lied about not having money but she came back with goldfish and fruit snacks.
“Now she’s being petty by asking me to pay her back for all of the times we’ve used their memberships and guest passes so we’re not getting along.
“I’m going to have to see her at school drop off/pick up, ballet class, gymnastics class, and the girls weekly play dates so I wanted to know if I was the a****** for not buying her kid a snack.”
People were quick to decide that she was definitely the one in the wrong.
One person wrote: “You mention she has paid multiple times for your daughter’s entrance fees.
“She clearly doesn’t usually ask you for money or take advantage of the friendship.
“Now this strong friendship is in jeopardy because she’s generous with you but you won’t return the favour in a smaller one-off ask.
“You wanted a transactional friendship and are going to get exactly what you asked for.
“Don’t expect free invitations in the future and make sure to budget accordingly – gym costs are way more than goldfish.
“Was saving $2.00 [£1.60] really worth it?”
What's the etiquette on paying for play dates?
Kidspot polled mums on who should pay for what on play dates – and the results were certainly interesting.
Most mums agreed they would always send their kids with money if they knew a friend’s parent was taking them out for the day – eg to the cinema or soft play.
“They’re already providing free childcare, the least I can do is cover costs,” said one.
But they also said they WOULDN’T accept cash in return – or would, but only after much protesting – insisting it’s “their choice” to go out.
If a friend flat out refused to accept cash, the mums said they’d buy a gift like a bottle of wine instead as a thank you.
Another penned: “If money is tight then maybe you can make that clear but you went about it in such a rude way.
“It’s not your job to take care of her child, but it’s basic human decency to return a favor and feel a little gratitude for the free entry.”
A third fumed: “So she regularly lets you use her memberships and stuff for things, but a $2 [£1.60] bag of goldfish is too much.
“Yes, she should have done X Y Z ahead of time but people forget things, it happens. You could have just done her the solid.
“Do you ever spend money on her kid? Ever let them use a service you already pay for? If not you’re mega the AH.
“All this over $2 [£1.60], what are you? 12?”
A fourth said: “The friend’s mother basically paid for you and your daughter to get into the play area, and you couldn’t afford $2 [£1.60] to buy her a snack and help pay her back for letting you in for free.
“You are so cheap. Silly. If I was the friend’s mother I would never offer you a guest pass and you would have to pay your own way from now on.
“And it could be a chance that there are going to be no more play dates because her mother should be very upset with you and a lot of times that affect the friendships as a girl.”