Witches Are Always Queer
I’m not much of a movie person. I haven’t seen a TV show since Disney decided its Mysterious Benedict Society was simply too good to get a season three; and the last film I saw was Fiddler on the Roof over Christmas. (You read that right. It’s been 10 months.)
That makes me a rather bad person to review films.
But this isn’t really a review, because that would require that I actually watched the film — or in this case, the TV series — and I have no intention of doing that for Marvel’s Agatha All Along, which released its first two episodes today.
Once upon a time, Marvel films were decently good. In high school, I enjoyed Captain America, and I still find the modern Spider-Man films with Tom Holland funny and relatable (the older ones were better in terms of emotional storytelling; Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone felt more mature than Holland and Zendaya).
Over the last couple of years, Marvel has released woke propaganda piece after woke propaganda piece in the form of endless rambling TV shows with plotlines that move at the pace of a snail and films like The Marvels, where the writers prioritize woke evangelism over good writing and give characters embarrassingly cheesy lines as a result.
And then there’s Agatha All Along. Sure it’s woke, but it’s more than that.
Take, for instance, the interview clip in which actress Sasheer Zamata, who plays one of the witches in the series, affirms that Agatha is the “gayest project Marvel has ever done.” She tells a reporter from Variety that “Witches are queer inherently, just because we are outcast and, like, set aside for many reasons.”
Those 30 seconds set warning bells off in my head. And the trailer confirmed them.
Yes, this is supposed to be a Halloween-themed thriller. I know. Witches are in season, just like jack-o-lanterns and ghosts. But witches are involved with the demonic, and if the trailer is anything to go by, the series will feature necromancy, rituals, covens, and fiery dragons. And I’m not sure that it’s accidental.
In her book, The Anti-Mary Exposed, Carrie Gress quotes at length from Mallory Millett’s account of her sister’s involvement with second-wave feminism in the late 1960s and early ’70s. At one point, Mallory and a friend stopped by her sister Kate’s loft apartment in New York on a Halloween night to discover the famous feminist and 11 other women in the midst of a satanic ritual complete with a live, 10-foot boa constrictor.
These were the same women who promised, in 1969, to destroy the American patriarchy and monogamy by promoting promiscuity, eroticism, prostitution, abortion, and homosexuality.
There’s no doubt that Agatha All Along will echo those themes, and it isn’t trying to hide the demonic connection. Again, I know, this is Halloween. But maybe I don’t want a celebration of satanic rituals on my TV screen? Just like I don’t want the Paris Olympics to parody the Last Supper with an LGBTQ+ display during the opening ceremony.
It’s not that having dragons, demons, and witches in stories is a bad thing, it’s that portraying them as an intrinsically good thing — as the protagonist — to champion the LGBTQ+ agenda is a problem. Our fairy tales should, in the words of G. K. Chesterton, teach us to defeat dragons, not to become them.
Like most (if not all) of Marvel’s TV series, Agatha will probably be a flop. Time and time again, it’s been obvious that audiences simply aren’t interested in entertainment that pushes woke propaganda and tries to normalize promiscuous behavior. Hollywood, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to care, and it’s remarkable that it’s willing to admit — even if it’s in a backhanded way — that the demonic is closely tied to its woke agenda.
After all, “witches are queer inherently.”
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