Nick Cannon says he was insecure Mariah Carey was the 'alpha' in their marriage. He's not the only man who's admitted to being jealous of a partner's success.
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- Nick Cannon recently opened up about feeling insecure during his six-year marriage to Mariah Carey.
- Cannon said he struggled with Carey's role as the "alpha" in their relationship.
- "I would lay up at night, thinking, like, 'Is this who I am? Am I Mariah's man?'" he said.
During their six-year marriage, Nick Cannon said he knew what people were thinking: "The kid from Nickelodeon is with Mariah Carey?"
"Psychologically, that started fucking with me," Cannon revealed during a recent appearance on the Ray Daniels Presents podcast.
As a child star on Nickelodeon's "All That" and its spin-off "The Nick Cannon Show," Cannon was an avowed fan of Carey, who's 11 years his senior. They sparked romance rumors in 2008 when Cannon starred in the singer's "Bye Bye" music video. He was 27 at the time, while she had recently turned 39.
Shortly after the video's release, the couple secretly got married. They welcomed twins, Moroccan and Monroe, in 2011 and announced their divorce in 2014.
Despite their age gap and whirlwind engagement, Cannon told Daniels that he didn't care what the world thought of their relationship — but he did struggle with his own internalized stereotypes about "manhood" and gender roles.
"I got married in my 20s still, to the biggest star in the world. My trajectory was here, and then hers — she's already in a different stratosphere," Cannon said. "I would lay up at night, thinking, like, 'Is this who I am? Am I Mariah's man? Is that what my life is supposed to be?'"
Cannon has said he was already a millionaire by his early 20s. The year after his wedding, he was appointed the honorary chairman and development consultant for TeenNick and launched his own production company, NCredible. He has gone on to host shows like VH1's "Wild 'n Out" and Fox's "The Masked Singer." Today, the 44-year-old Cannon's entertainment empire reportedly generates about $100 million a year.
Meanwhile, Carey, 55, is one of the best-selling recording artists of all time and the top-performing female soloist in Billboard history. She has 19 No. 1 songs, more than any other woman and second only to The Beatles.
Carey's net worth hasn't been publicly reported, but based on the numbers we've seen recently from legacy artists selling their catalogs, her multi-decade collection of hits is likely worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Last year, Billboard estimated that just one of her No. 1 songs, Carey's perennial holiday classic "All I Want for Christmas Is You," generates over $8 million a year in global revenue and publishing royalties.
Cannon admitted that he grew accustomed to a lavish lifestyle while being married to Carey.
"I got really comfortable in it. She's got islands. I'm waking up at noon, people bringing me steaks on a platter," he said with a laugh.
However, once Carey gave birth to their children, Cannon said his role in the family "hierarchy" exacerbated his insecurities.
"Wait, I'm carrying a purse, the diaper bag. I'm standing on the corner," he recalled. "She's rockin' being the alpha that she is. And I believe she needs a dude like that. I'm just not that dude."
Cannon praised Carey for being "understanding" and "evolved," even while he was struggling with his identity and career.
In 2009, The New York Times reported that Cannon was due to release an album with Island Def Jam, Carey's label at the time. That album never materialized, and Cannon told Daniels he was worried the label was only interested in him because of his wife's massive sales. He even said that at one point during their relationship, he would wear suits every day, "trying to prove that I'm a man."
"That's the thing, when someone has their own world, their own scope, their own bubble, and you gotta be a participant in that — I'm [the] main character!" he said.
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"I was getting mad at myself. It was like muscle atrophy," Cannon continued. "I'm not being the dude that God put me on this earth to be."
Cannon is far from the only man who's admitted to being jealous of his wife's financial status. According to "The Love Gap" by journalist Jenna Birch, there is a modern trend of straight men who claim to want partners who are intelligent, ambitious, and successful, yet decline to pursue women who demonstrate those qualities.
As Business Insider previously reported, "The Love Gap" cites a 2015 study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, which found that "men rated women who were supposedly more intelligent as more desirable — except when they met the women face-to-face. Then they rated the women as less desirable."
A 2013 study published by the American Psychological Association found a similar trend among straight men. Researchers found that male self-esteem took a hit when a female partner excelled in a task, while women's self-esteem didn't appear affected by their male partners' successes or failures.
"It makes sense that a man might feel threatened if his girlfriend outperforms him in something they're doing together, such as trying to lose weight," said the study's lead author, Kate Ratliff, Ph.D., of the University of Florida. "But this research found evidence that men automatically interpret a partner's success as their own failure, even when they're not in direct competition."