Sometimes blokes treat violence as a bit of a laugh but as Saoirse Ronan says it’s no joke for women
WHEN actors Paul Mescal and Eddie Redmayne agreed to appear on Graham Norton’s chat show, they knew the drill.
Tell a couple of funny stories, indulge in some “bants” with your fellow guests, and in return you get to plug your latest film or miniseries. Right?
Wrong. For this time, fellow actor Saoirse Ronan was sitting between them and, with one devastatingly understated comment, sent the “bants” train careering off the tracks.
What followed was a momentary awkwardness on the level of when Bridesmaids character Lillian takes a s**t in the street in a high-end wedding dress.
Saoirse’s smiling interjection has gone viral and sparked an important debate.
But first, some context for those who didn’t see it. Eddie Redmayne, plugging his forthcoming role in The Day Of The Jackal miniseries, was explaining how he was taught to use a mobile phone to defend himself when Paul Mescal burst out laughing. “Who is actually going to think about that?” asked the Gladiator II star.
“If someone actually attacked me, I’m not going to go ‘phone’.
“Good point,” replied Redmayne, while Graham Norton pitched in with a mimic of someone saying, “Can you hold?” into their phone.
Saoirse, who had remained silent throughout, waited for them all to finish, then said quietly: “Women have to think about that all the time.”
She then looked to the audience, asked, “Am I right, ladies?” and elicited a huge cheer of support.
Good for her. Instead of burying her misgivings to go with the lighthearted flow, she decided to stick a pin in the bubble of “bants” and use a high-profile platform to state a harsh reality for women all over the world.
Someone on social media commented afterwards: “People creating a ‘leftist feminist woke icon’ persona for Mescal, and then realising he’s just a man, is so funny.”
Actually, I don’t agree with that. Both Mescal and Redmayne seem like well-rounded, modern men who were just trying to fulfil the remit to be entertaining.
The point, made so brilliantly by 30-year-old Saoirse, is that even the most evolved of men will never fully understand what goes through a woman’s mind every time she walks anywhere alone. Particularly at night.
She’s not suggesting, as some have commented (including, inexplicably, other women) that “all men are rapists” — she’s just pointing out that violence against women is a reality that can get inside our heads and make us fearful for our safety.
Yes, you might be the nicest, easy-going guy in the world who’s trusted and adored by all the women in your life, but the complete stranger you’re walking behind on a dark, otherwise deserted street doesn’t know all that, does she?
Self-defence lessons
So her mind may well be in overdrive wondering if you’re about to do her harm.
All you have to do is watch just one of the alarmingly high number of true crime films and documentaries about violence against women to understand why this is.
And it’s not a new thing. My mother always told me to walk in the road on my way home at night, to avoid being pulled in to a dark alleyway or garden.
We were given self-defence lessons at school and I carried a small alarm in my handbag that emitted a loud noise when activated.
Now a mother myself, I constantly walk the gossamer-thin line of teaching my daughters to enjoy their lives without fear whilst simultaneously remaining alert to potential danger if it presents itself.
The National Police Chiefs’ Council website states: “The harm caused to victims and society by violence against women and girls (VAWG) in all its forms — including but not limited to harassment, stalking, rape, sexual assault, murder, honour-based abuse, coercive control — is immeasurable.
“While men and boys also suffer from many of these forms of abuse, they disproportionately affect women. A woman is killed by a man every three days in the UK.”
Whether it’s in the home, where a domestic abuse victim constantly walks on eggshells, or out on the streets, where we remain ever vigilant to potential danger, that’s just the way life is for the majority of women.
Saoirse wasn’t having a go at her fellow guests, nor at men in general. She was merely telling it like it is.
HIT THE ROAD, LADIES
BACK in March, I listed the numerous TV shows involving men going on “buddy” road trips and said: “Memo to TV commissioners – women have friendships and can travel, too.”
Last week, the BBC’s Paddy And Chris: Road Tripping was reviewed on Gogglebox.
“God, there’s so many of these bloody road trip programmes, isn’t there? Jolly boy trips,” said Ellie Warner from Leeds.
Meanwhile, Goggleboxer Jane commented dryly to her brother Simon: “Middle-aged men can go road-tripping and middle-aged women get the menopause. That’s not quite fair.”
Indeed it isn’t. Perhaps Ellie, her sister Izzi and Jane should do a road trip around TV stations and try to get their own travel show?
Kiss? I’ll give it a miss, Don
WHEN it comes to rare sightings, Melania Trump being seen in public with “The Donald” is right up there with the eclipse.
But a US presidential election is looming so, there she was, fulfilling her wifely obligations by introducing him to the crowd at his Madison Square Garden rally in New York.
However, judging by her swift, diversionary head turn to avoid an incoming peck on the cheek, I’m not sure that “personal contact” is in the marital contract.
As encounters between old dogs and feline beauties go, I’ve seen warmer.
PAEDO RIGHTS
A CONVICTED paedophile has had his deportation overturned on the grounds that it would harm his children.
The Indian man – referred to as “HS” – launched a legal challenge on human rights grounds and argued that being removed from the UK would damage his right to a “private and family life”.
Except that his only contact with his children is a weekly video call.
Which, one humbly suggests, could easily be conducted from India.
MEAT A STICKY END…
HARVESTER is dishing up a 3,769-calorie meal of half a chicken, a half-rack of ribs, a short of beef rib and a giant cheddar and jalapeno sausage.
It’s been described by Harvester as, “Perfectly grilled, packed with flavour and made for sharing (or keeping all to yourself)”.
Crikey.
The last time I visited Las Vegas, we went to the Heart Attack Grill where the staff dress as nurses (and spank you if you don’t finish your food), the customers wear operating gowns, the wine is served via a fake IV drip and the menu includes an “Octuple Bypass Burger” with “Flatliner Fries”, to which you can add 40 bacon slices if you so wish.
A sign on the door reads: “Cash only because you might die before the cheque clears.”
But it sounds like there’s no irony on the menu at Harvester; just a mountain of meat that’s 1,269 calories above the recommended daily intake for men.
Sheltered ninnies
AN old episode of Michael Palin’s Around The World In 80 Days has had a trigger warning added because it shows a chef cooking a snake in China, where it’s considered a delicacy.
Ye gods. Travel is supposed to broaden the mind by showing us other cultures.
Yet one trigger warning after another, we’re slowly turning people into sheltered ninnies who think that their way of life is the right one.