I’m a private investigator – four signs your partner is cheating, and how they cover their tracks
A PRIVATE investigator has revealed four signs that your partner could be cheating.
Cheating can be one of the worst relationship betrayals, ripping apart families, and causing irreversible damage.
It can be incredibly hard to catch a cheating partner, as they are often very deceitful and manipulative.
However, these common signs will help you pinpoint behaviours for a greater understanding if your partner has a wandering eye.
Private Investigator Aaron Bond of Bond Rees Private Investigators, who has over 15 years of experience catching cheaters, shared some key signs to look out for.
They become more interested in you
Although you may feel excited that the spark appears to have been re-lit in a fizzled relationship, Aaron says this could be a sign that your partner is trying to trick you.
He said: “We’ve seen this a lot in our time as private investigators, a relationship doesn’t seem to have that spark anymore and then all of a sudden it does.
“While I’m sure sometimes this can be genuine as someone may be trying to fight to keep their relationship alive, in my experience it’s often used to cover up their tracks.
“You may start getting more gifts or they may become more affectionate or kind. These nice gestures are often tactics to divert the attention from their wrongdoing.”
Additional email accounts
Some cheaters may have burner phones that they use to elicit extra-marital affairs, but Aaron said that it is more common for them to have extra email addresses or social media profiles.
He said: “Cheaters sometimes have other phones that you may not know about, but they nearly always have additional emails and social media accounts you don’t know about.
“With additional accounts, they can hide everything from you, including their messages, naughty images, and everything else in between.
“While it’s difficult to find if your partner has other accounts, what you may notice is that they almost become defensive around you with their phone.
“They may be cautious of opening certain apps or they may shield the phone away from you.”
They start ‘travelling’ for work more
According to Aaron, a sudden influx of work trips could be a cover-up for cheating.
He said: “Deceitful people will use the ruse of work to cover up their cheating tracks simply because it’s hard to prove otherwise.
15 Relationship red flags to look out for
Red flags are warning signs that indicate unhealthy or manipulative behaviour. When you encounter relationship red flags, it’s a good time to pause and reflect on the dynamic you really share with that person.
- Overly controlling behaviour
- Lack of trust
- Feeling low self-esteem
- Physical, emotional, or mental abuse
- Substance abuse
- Narcissism
- Anger management issues
- Codependency
- Inability to resolve conflict
- Constant jealousy
- Gaslighting
- Lack of emotional intelligence
- Negatively affecting your relationship with family and friends
- Inability to communicate openly
- Lack of social connection or friends
For more advice and support, Relate is available: “Whether it’s your relationship with a partner, a child, a family member or anyone else – we help everyone to build better relationships.”
“What you need to look out for is a pattern that is out of the ordinary for them. Have they all of a sudden started to stay late on a certain day or time of the month?”
Aaron added that cheaters tend to have affairs outside of their local area, so that they can’t be spotted, so a trip away with work is the perfect excuse.
Using more cash than usual
Many cheaters will use cash to cover their tracks so that their bank statements don’t place them somewhere they said they wouldn’t be.
Aaron said: “Our society is getting to a place where cash isn’t used as much as credit and debit cards.
“Using cash isn’t a red flag, but if you have a joint account or have access to each other’s statements and you see more cash withdrawals than usual then it’s a sign that your partner is hiding something.”
Aaron said that cheaters often make up fake expenses to try and account for the money, but added that this is a good way to catch them out, as they often get their stories mixed up.