My jealous boyfriend made me take a lie detector test to prove I’m not cheating

DEAR DEIDRE: MY narcissistic boyfriend is so jealous that he made me take a lie detector test to prove I’m not cheating. 

But even though I passed, he continues to accuse, berate and insult me. Living with him has turned me into a shadow of myself. 

I’m 28 and he’s 36. We’ve been together for four years. 

At first he was charming, affectionate and kind. But once I’d moved in with him, he changed. 

He started putting me down, humiliating me and calling me horrible names. I gave up seeing my friends and family because he was so possessive.

He used to follow me to meet friends, just to make sure I wasn’t meeting another man. 

If I disagree with him or defend myself, he gets nasty – although never violent. So I say nothing rather than risk being screamed at. 

He’s made me change my entire wardrobe because he claimed my clothes were too revealing and sexy. 

And he makes me come to football with him every weekend – even though I’m not interested in it – just so he can keep an eye on me.

I know our relationship is toxic, but I don’t know what to do. 

DEIDRE SAYS: Not all abusive relationships are violent. Your boyfriend does indeed sound like a narcissist, and he is controlling you.

Unfortunately, things are only likely to get worse. 

I’m so glad you’ve asked for help to leave before he destroys you entirely.

Read my support pack about Abusive Partners, and please contact Women’s Aid for help (womensaid.org.uk).

Reach out to a friend or relative and tell them the situation. Even if you’ve lost contact, I’m sure they’ll want to help. 

If possible, go and stay with them, so you’re safe and out of the toxicity.

My support pack, Ending A Relationship, should also help.