My partner’s midlife crisis has turned into a full-on mental breakdown

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner’s midlife crisis has turned into a full-on breakdown.

Now he’s walked out on me, saying he needs to be alone, and I’m heartbroken.

I’m 42 and he’s 45. We’ve been together for seven years.

Things started to go wrong a couple of years ago, when he lost his job and his confidence. 

He got depressed, but I supported him through it.

But last weekend, we had a disagreement and out of nowhere he screamed that he was leaving.

He then walked out the front door, and I haven’t seen him since. 

He’s since messaged to say that he feels his life is pointless, his career is rubbish, and he will never earn enough. 

I miss him and want him back, but he said he can’t promise anything. 

He made me promise not to contact him at all.

I’m devastated and don’t know what to do.

DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve had a terrible shock, which has sent you reeling. 

It’s likely your partner has been thinking about this for a while, but hasn’t felt able to tell you.

He’s been assessing his life, and concluded he’s not good enough – even though you disagree.

Although you can’t make him come back, you can make it clear you love him and are there for him when he’s ready to talk.

You could write him a letter and include my support pack Help For Your Depression to help him.

Speaking via one of his friends might be a way of making sure he’s ok. 

Please confide in someone close as you also need support with your feelings.