My maid of honour is refusing to come to my hen do unless she can bring her BABY but it’s no place for a child
A BRIDE-TO-BE has been left in a sticky situation with her maid of honour who refuses to attend her hen do unless she can bring her baby.
The 20-something woman said she feels ‘strongly that a hen do is no place for a child’ but she also wants to have her friend at the party.
Taking to Mumsnet, she was gutted her oldest and closest friend wouldn’t come unless her three-month-old kid comes too.
She asked the forum for advice from other parents as to whether it was irrational to expect her friend to spend one night away from her baby.
The bride-to-be said: We are in our late 20s and I have recently got engaged, and I don’t have children yet.
“My oldest and closest friend has just told me that she’s pregnant. She also moved to Dublin with her husband for their work.
“‘She is a co-MOH [maid of honour]. The current plan is for the hen to be a night out in Bristol, and I believe my other MOH is planning some sort of activity during the day as well. None of my other friends have children.
Her child will be three months by the time we have the hen do, and she has said she cannot come unless the baby can come too.
“I feel strongly that a hen do is no place for a child, but I also desperately want her to be there as I so rarely get to see her given she has moved abroad.
“So I am turning to the mums out there! Is three months too young to leave and [am I being unreasonable] by telling her that her baby cannot come?
“I understand if that means she cannot come at all and would respect that.”
People were quick to share their thoughts with the woman, and many mums agreed they wouldn’t leave a newborn even if they were with the father.
One person wrote: “[You’re not being unreasonable] – but you also have to accept that means she won’t come. Very few new mothers would happily leave a baby that young to go off on a hen night.”
The woman replied: “Thank you! The issue is that she lives in another country so would have to travel and feels it is too early to leave her baby overnight, which I totally understand, so she’s asking whether we can have a baby friendly activity during the day.
“I’m reluctant as it would become all about the new baby (understandably) and although I don’t want to be narcissistic, I put a LOT of effort into her hen do and also want to make sure it’s fun for everyone else making the effort to come!”
Another commented: “She can’t bring a baby to a hen party BUT it’s also too soon to expect her to leave the baby for a weekend. So sadly she can’t come.”
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“No that’s totally not suitable to bring a baby to a hen do. It will completely change the dynamic, you won’t be able to have normal conversations, all focus attention will be on the baby,” penned a third.
Meanwhile a fourth said: “If it’s a hen weekend, then I highly doubt people would want to do anything baby-friendly or spend more money on that just for her. The cheek of her to even suggest that. It would be a no from me.”
“To be honest, also if I knew that someone’s baby was coming to a hen do I wouldn’t go,” claimed a fifth.
Someone else added: “No chance. I had similar with a very close friend. It’s tricky – and understandable but sometimes when women get pregnant they feel as though the universe centres around them and their baby. In their world it does which is understandable.”
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