Somebody Somewhere Recap: Are You Being Tender With Me?

How DARE you, Susan?! Fred’s wife Susan was already on my shit list after banning him from joining his weekly brunch session with Sam and Joel, but she earns a permanent spot at the top after she chides Sam for bringing doughnuts to their new baseball “Catch Club” and then telling her that she can live her life however she wants (the condescension!), but “just don’t bring Fred down with you.” Sam is a better person than I because I would’ve been shoving that Maple Log into Susan’s face so fast. Using “I call it like I see it” as the justification for being mean is just Susan telling us that she’s okay with being an asshole.

It’s certainly a new feeling to be this angry with a character on Somebody Somewhere, typically the warm hug of a show you need. It took me a bit by surprise and it definitely takes Sam by surprise. (Also, can you imagine how Fred would feel if he heard this?!) You immediately see the hurt all over Sam’s face. She’s not only insulted, but also spinning out: Is she bringing her friends down? Sam, understandably, grapples with this nagging thought for the entire episode. While that’s hard to watch, thankfully, Somebody Somewhere, perhaps anticipating just how difficult it would be to watch Sam beat herself up, does something kind of wonderful: It gives us an entire episode, written by Lisa Kron and directed by Robert Cohen, full of moments reminding the audience that Sam is constantly lifting up and supporting the people around her.

First, there is Joel. I mean, any friend who willingly offers to help you pack up your entire house is a Good Friend™. Joel knows this. And Sam is adamant that 1) packing objectively is the worst and 2) “we do the things we hate for the ones we love.” “Are you being tender with me?” Joel asks, possibly more moved by that than the actual offer to pack. But what Sam does for Joel is more than just being a moving day buddy. While over there, she starts to notice a few curious things that all suggest perhaps Joel is compromising a little too much in his relationship. He’s donating his beloved piano because Brad already has one. It doesn’t matter that this specific piano is his favorite, it’s easier to keep Brad’s. “It’s just a thing,” Joel tells her, and while Sam doesn’t seem exactly convinced, she is willing to drop it.

Not long after, however, she finds a box of items Joel was clearly saving to give to the child he might have one day — yes, including a “World’s Smallest Fanilow” onesie — and sees that Joel plans on tossing it. He tells her that he and Brad aren’t going to have kids. Brad has adult children (?!) and apparently doesn’t want any more. Sam can’t believe it: Joel’s always wanted to be a father — it’s “in the middle of your vision board,” she reminds him. Although Joel basically tells her that he’s fine and they should move on, this is a great example of Sam being there for her friends: She doesn’t push it at this moment, but she’s aware of it and she’s making sure Joel knows that she’s there to talk about it when he’s ready. Please note that she is not partaking in the “I call it like I see it” version of friendship; she has empathy.

But an even better example of Sam having a positive impact on those around her is what she does for Brad in this episode. Remember when Brad first came on the scene and Sam, so threatened by him, refused to have any kind of relationship with him? Okay, some of that was definitely about the raging diarrhea his SLS gave her (many thanks for the SLS callback in this episode, by the way), but the rest of it was the jealousy and fear that her best friend would abandon her. It was like 50/50. But these days, all of that is forgotten. When Brad asks Sam if she could help him write a love song for Joel that he could perform at their housewarming party, she is more than happy to help. It’s a surprise song, so Joel has no idea this is going on, but man, if he could see this gorgeous moment of his partner and his best friend bonding over the fear of sharing your emotions, talking about how it is to feel loved, and yeah, even sharing their best Joel impressions — well, if he thought Sam offering to help pack was her being tender, the guy would fall over.

While Sam and Brad’s one-on-one moment is special, the scene at the housewarming in which they finally perform the song is just so gorgeous and such a perfect representation of what’s great about Somebody Somewhere, and why we have become so endeared to Sam. The fact that it kicks off with Sam leading her pals in a rousing and filthy version of “She’ll Be Coming ’Round the Mountain” and ends with us all in tears over Brad’s declaration and Sam’s part in it all is everything you need to know about this show, honestly.

When it comes time for Brad to sing his song about the things he loves about Joel in front of Joel’s friends and all of his church friends, he is beside himself with nerves. He misses his cue and looks to Sam, on the piano, for help. He might throw up. Sam sees him freaking out and looks at him with this sweet, calming energy, and mouths “It’s okay, I’ve got you,” before singing the first verse and chorus for him. Joel is in tears, Brad is in tears, we are all in tears, okay? Finally, she looks back at Brad and again mouths to him this time, “you can do this,” and guess what? He does. He is not a great singer, and he still looks scared as hell, but he does it. He sings about Joel cracking his heart open wide and how no one has ever looked at him the way Joel does. Tim Bagley is just so, so good here — hitting every emotional note that Brad is working his way through. And then to top it all off with another sweet moment of friendship between Brad and Sam? It’s almost too much, you know?

While we can see how lucky these people are to have Sam as a friend, she still very much cannot. Later that night, definitely a little drunk, she asks Joel if she brings him down, but brushes it off when he pushes for more details. And you know what’s certainly not going to make her consider that Susan might be wrong about her? That the next morning, Brad brings up Joel telling him that Sam might be having money issues after losing an income stream from helping Joel with his rentals. He offers her money, if she needs it. She is so embarrassed, she cannot get out of that house fast enough. Hungover, she heads to the ATM to discover that she has less than $300 in her bank account. And then she hurls. Is it the alcohol or is it her believing this is just one more example of how she is a waste of life who’s dragging down her friends? Neither is really helped by the other.

“I’m a real fucking picture right now,” she says to herself, angry and hurt, and admittedly very gross at the moment. Let’s be real: There’s no way this show is ending with Sam feeling this down on herself, but as we wait to see her pull herself out of it, it’s a tough watch.

Tender Moments

• Oh baby, nothing like a septic tank emergency to fan the flames of a crush, am I right ladies? When Iceland needs the Miller sisters to help him locate the septic tank in the backyard, Sam snaps a photo of the guy that, sure, is partly to remind them of the tank’s location, but mostly so that Sam has a pic of the guy saved to her phone.

• What a fun surprise: Sam is actually a great gift giver. Not only does she give Joel and Brad a dutch oven for their housewarming, because the name is too hilarious to pass up (Sam explaining what “dutch oven” also means still makes me giggle), but she also gives Joel a tub of his beloved vaporub with pictures of her putting it on and in her nose all over it. Perfect, no notes.

• What’s your favorite Christmas-themed cunt pillow in Tricia’s collection? “It’s beginning to look a lot like you’re a cunt” made me laugh so hard, “All I want for Christmas is my two front cunts” feels hilariously aggressive in some way, and admittedly there is something special in the simplicity of “Merry Cunt-mas.”