There’s never been a better time to hate the Cowboys

The Cowboys are an old 7/11 hot dog at 2 am.

Life is very good if you’re a Cowboys hater. The team is now 3-5 on the season after a loss to Atlanta, Dak Prescott is hurt, the NFC East is running away from them with the Commanders and Eagles surging, and the future is going to be very, very bleak.

If you’re in the schadenfreude business, business is good.

What we’ve seen this season is macro-decisions leading to micro-outcomes. The loss to the Falcons on Sunday was emblematic of the same self-inflicted wounds Dallas has been committing all season, both on the field and in the front office. It was a game that never felt nearly as close as the scoreboard showed, with Prescott under a ludicrous amount of pressure all afternoon, and the Cowboys secondary making life incredibly easy for Kirk Cousins who completed 79 percent of his passes, adding three touchdowns for good measure.

Those primary issues on Sunday: The offensive line and secondary can’t be fixed this season, or even next offseason. The Cowboys decided to go all-in with its current roster, assuming it would be enough to get them over the hump — and once more they’ve found a way to fall short. With games against Philadelphia, Houston, and Washington over the next three weeks there’s a very real chance Dallas falls to 3-8 in, especially if Prescott is forced to time due to his hamstring injury — which we don’t know the severity of at this time.

The wildest part about the Cowboys woes is that all this was the tragically obvious outcome based on their lead up to the season. There was monumental turnover in free agency from Dallas, fueled by the knowledge that Prescott, CeeDee Lamb, and Micah Parsons all needed, or were on the verge of needing new extensions. It put the team in a position where logically it had to make difficult decisions, but instead the brain trust decided all three of their marquee stars were too important to lose, relinquishing Dorrance Armstrong, Tyler Biadasz, Tony Pollard, and Tyron Smith among others — hoping their depth would be good enough.

It simply hasn’t.

Biadasz is the 5th highest-rated pass blocking center by Pro Football Focus this season, thriving in the Commanders’ system. His replacement Cooper Beebe is 28th. Tyron Smith is certainly slowing down, but nonetheless ranks 47th in the league in pass blocking by an offensive tackle, with his replacement Tyler Guyton ranking 85th. Tony Pollard is on pace for over 1,200 yards rushing, just for good measure, with Ezekiel Elliot AND Rico Dowdle projecting to finish with 999 yards COMBINED.

This is an organization chose to destroy all its depth at multiple positions to keep superstars at three of them, and it shows. Even the most die-hard defenders of the franchise found the decision to be so absent in free agency to be shortsighted, especially considering this team hasn’t won anything with Prescott, Lamb, and Parsons as its focal points — so why would that change with a worse offensive line?

Most alarming about the loss to Atlanta is that this is about as well as a game could possibly go for Dallas in 2024, and this was the outcome. There were no turnovers by the offense, Dowdle had a standout rushing game, and they won the time of possession battle as well as total yardage. So at their absolute best this team can manage to lose by six points to a Falcons team that’s good, but not great.

It’s here that the story gets even worse for Cowboys fans. The team is slated to have roughly $29 million in cap space in 2025, depending on what the final salary cap figure is. Only 39 players are under contract, meaning that the team isn’t yet complete. Parsons is set to play on a team option, but almost assuredly will hold out unless a new deal is done — and while that could free up some cap space, there’s just no more juice to squeeze on the money side without major restructuring.

The Cowboys are in salary cap hell, which was a known quantity. The problem is that this hell is married with atrocious on-field performance. The frankly stunning amount of money still owed to mediocre plays is beyond comprehension, and those commitments could mean that Dallas is forced to trade a player like Zack Martin at the deadline — weakening their offensive line even further and putting the team in more of a hole to dig out of.

Of course, that’s before we even begin to address that Mike McCarthy clearly isn’t the correct coach for this team, and who knows if anyone decent will want to inherit the mess the front office will saddle them with. Yes, America’s Team is about as attractive as the last 7/11 hot dog sitting on a heated rolled at 2 am, wrinkled, dry, and devoid of any hope, but it’ll be force-fed to fans anyway who just need something to eat.

But hey, on the plus side at least you have Dak Prescott and CeeDee Lamb.

Winner: Lamar Jackson

We’ve seen Lamar Jackson do incredible things in his career, but nothing like 2024. This is the first time Jackson had had real weapons around him on offense, and now he’s reaching his final form and becoming dominant beyond all imagination.

Nobody would mistake the Broncos with a great football team, but they do have a great defense. A legitimately elite defense that has held the league’s best quarterbacks to season lows in passing. The along came Jackson, who utterly dismantled them and made it look easy in the process.

The efficiency Jackson has shown as a pure passer this season is unreal. In the past there’s been this need to couch his passing by also quoting his rushing figures, a justifiably way to tell his story in totality. However, in 2024 there’s simply nobody who touches Jackson’s passing alone — and then we get to talk about his rushing ability as the cherry on top.

2,379 yards, 68.3% CMP, 20 TD, 2 INT— 120.7 passer rating

Then you cap all this off with a frankly preposterous 7.7 yards-per-attempt and you have a player who is marrying ruthless efficiency with league-leading statistics. Jackson is the MVP frontrunner by a mile at this point, and he deserves to win it.

Loser: Derek Carr

On the plus side he made history. Derek Carr became the first quarterback in NFL history to lose to 31 teams by returning from injury and immediately losing to the Panthers.

Now we circle Dec. 29 on the calendar. This is when the Saints play the Raiders with the opportunity being on the table for Carr to lose to every single NFL team. What a time to be alive.

Winner: Bryce Young

Regardless of the gamesmanship the Panthers are trying to play in press conferences, this is Bryce Young’s team again. The second-year quarterback has grown leaps and bounds since his early-season benching as the team turned to Andy Dalton, and his performance on Sunday might have been the most impressive of his short career.

Despite the Panthers still having young receivers who are learning on the job, with Diontae Johnson traded away and Adam Thielen still hurt, Bryce came out and looked in total control against the Saints. His one interception was on paper only, coming on a freak play where the ball was ripped out of the hands of WR Xavier Legette after a deep completion.

Beyond the stats, Young did something he’s been sorely lacking since arrive in the league: Be a difference maker. Whether it was through the air, with his legs, or helping players at the line of scrimmage — Young showed flashes of the Alabama QB who was the consensus No. 1 pick in 2023.

We’re far from the point where Carolina can truly rely on him long-term, but after two weeks of solid performances, including the win over New Orleans, things are definitely trending that way.

Loser: Hope for the Cleveland Browns

Well, so much for everything being right again in Cleveland. The Jameis Winston magic vanished as quickly as it came, and the Browns are now 2-7 on the season following a blowout loss to the Chargers.

Can anything be fixed here? Nope, sure can’t. This team can safely blow things up at the deadline now, recoup some draft picks, and hope they can find a way to do something good in 2025.