How to deal with election results, whether your side wins or loses
With one more sleep until Election Day, a lot of people are feeling anxious. A group that aims to bridge the partisan divide is offering suggestions on how to handle the aftermath of the election, whether or not your side wins.
“How will we react and treat one another in victory, defeat, uncertainty, or in the face of a constitutional challenge or political crisis,” asked Bill Doherty, of Braver Angels, a nonprofit group founded in 2016
The group described itself as cross-partisan, with the mission of: “Bringing Americans together to bridge the partisan divide and strengthen our democratic republic.”
In a press release, Doherty said he hopes, “We can make commitments before the election about how we want to show up as citizens, after the election, no matter what the outcome.”
The group offered several different scenarios, and suggestions on how to handle different feelings and perceptions about the election.
In victory: “If the election turns out the way you’d like, resist the temptation of superiority. You may feel gladness and relief, but don’t lean into gloating or triumphalism. Instead, reach out to someone whose side lost, ask them how they’re feeling, and just listen.”
If your side loses: “The key thing about defeat is accepting it. We have a system in our country where if we think something is unfair, mistaken, or fraudulent, this can be adjudicated in the courts. But once any court challenges are resolved, we accept it.”
Doherty hoped people would avoid bitterness toward citizens who voted differently, suggesting there are important things to learn from defeat.
“Accept there are reasons for it, rather than just believing the other side is evil,” he said.
The possibility of uncertainty — or even a constitutional crisis — “could perhaps be the worst outcome for our election, and some of us are more worried about this possibility than defeat,” said Doherty, noting the 2000 election prompted more than a month of uncertainty, with Bush versus Gore.
Doherty said he wants whoever wins the election “by the standards and criteria we set up to be declared the winner, for the Electoral College to cast their votes, and for that person to be our next president.”
Doherty believes the constitutional process should be respected at every juncture: “We must put our country before our side winning — and ask our leaders to do the same. And finally, above all, we must ‘keep calm, and carry on.'”
In recent years, each side has justified political violence, according to Doherty. He suggested “we remove political violence from our system and never justify it, no matter who is doing it.”
While it’s easy to aspire to stances embracing civility, Doherty thinks there are ways to deal with feeling upset, outraged or fearful.
“As adults, we are capable of saying, ‘I feel like the sky is falling, but is it actually falling?'” he said.
Seeking-out like minded people, and avoiding social media for a period of time after the election can allow voters to step back from the immediacy of feelings, and provide more time for critical thinking.
“I think it’s important to avoid apocalyptic, end-of-times predictions — even casually,” he said. “I feel we’re a resilient people with a nearly 250-year-old republic, and we will not lose it in four years.”
Ultimately, Doherty believes the tension and anxiety will subside.
“We’re in a tough and scary patch now, but we have survived worse. This fever of polarization will pass at some point — from exhaustion if nothing else,” he wrote. “When this fever eventually passes, we must be better and more capable so we do not return this level of polarization and discord in the future.”
In its efforts to find common ground, Braver Angels said it “receives meaningful support from foundations which are considered to be left-of-center (60%) and foundations considered to be right of center (40%). Our goal is to draw funding from foundations spanning the political spectrum in a balanced manner.”
The group said in 2022, 38% of its $4.4 million budget was supplied by member dues and gifts — a 20% increase from 2021.