One minute I was having a heart racing work fling, then my world blew up

DEAR DEIDRE: A RECKLESS work fling was so exciting – sneaking off to the woods for al fresco sex at impromptu moments.

But then my colleague fell pregnant, my wife found out and now I’m sleeping on my brother’s sofa, with nowhere to go and no money. I’ve lost everything.

My colleague has since given birth to a son who I haven’t even met.

I’m a man of 41 and I’m a first-class idiot. I had everything going for me. A beautiful wife of 38 and we were doing up an old cottage.

I was working long hours in the gardens of a big hotel and then coming home to take the plaster off the walls. It was so stressful and we started bickering. 

At the same time I started getting friendly with a girl at work. We went for a drink one night after work. She’s 29, pretty and soon, I was having a full-blown affair.

She said she couldn’t get pregnant, so foolishly, I never used protection. The affair didn’t last long and my wife and I sorted out our differences.

But I was devastated when my colleague sent a voice note while I was on holiday telling me she was pregnant.

She had a little boy and I paid voluntary maintenance for a year, though I wasn’t 100 per

cent sure the baby was mine and she refused DNA tests.

Last month, I broke down and told my wife. She threw me out.

I’ve since been made redundant and can’t afford to pay maintenance.

I’ve lost everything — and I don’t even get to see my son.

DEIDRE SAYS: If you are still having doubts that this child is yours, please contact the Child Maintenance Service. 

They will ask for evidence that proves you are not the parent or can tell the other parent what’s happened and ask for evidence to prove parentage.

If there’s no evidence to prove you’re not the parent they can either request a DNA test or ask the courts to make a decision.  

However, if you know in your heart he is your son, why not build a positive relationship with him?

In that case, contact the mother and say you want to be more than just a financial sup-

port. You can get further advice through Families Need Fathers (fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 363).

Where your marriage is concerned, if your wife is open to trying again my support pack Cheating Can You Get Over It will help.