The Case for Going to Bed Early on Election Night

If you’re old enough to have voted in 2016, you probably remember "The Needle." A cutesy little graphic from the New York Times, it was meant to swing back and forth over a Republican-to-Democrat gauge as vote tallies came in. Many of us stayed up late into the night, watching that needle, as if through our undivided attention and sheer force of will we could push it to move the other way.

In hindsight, I think we all regret the time we spent anguishing over it. 

I’ve already coached you through making a plan for how you’re going to deal with election night anxiety. Today, I’d like to offer a more specific option—one that I will be choosing for myself: Do not obsess over returns as they come in. Take care of yourself, in the best possible sense of that phrase. Accept the fact that, once your vote is cast (and any election-day volunteering is done), your further attention to the election is not going to affect the outcome. And then go to bed early.

Results probably won’t be in on election night anyway

I understand the temptation to watch the returns and see what we’re going to be in for over the next four years. But remember that for most of the history of this nation, instant election results were not available. You had to wait for ballots to be counted and for the results to announced through the methods of the day. At best, you might wake up the next morning and read it in the newspaper. 

These days, data can fly across the internet as fast as electrons can travel, but that doesn’t mean the votes will all be counted that much faster. Some states, including my home state (and swing state) of Pennsylvania, are not permitted by law to even start counting mail-in ballots until election day. Workers in these states will go as fast as they can, but they’re not going to be done by the time polls close. We had to wait an agonizing four days to know who won the 2020 election; in 2000, due to legal challenges and hanging chads (iykyk), the wait was a grueling month.

Have a nice time instead

So make your plans now. Unplug. The weather will probably be nice (too nice; thanks climate change!) so maybe you should go for a hike with the family. Literally touch grass. Have a special dinner. Play a board game as a family, or watch a movie. And then go to bed. Whatever election night brings, you can enjoy (or not) finding out what it is in the morning.