Harriette Cole: This woman didn’t belong in our VIP area. Why wouldn’t anyone kick her out?

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to a gathering at a nightclub this weekend, and I sat with a private group of people who provided table service.

It was very chic until random people started to sneak up and try to pour themselves free drinks from our bar setup. One woman came and sat with our group, even though we didn’t know her; she tried to force herself into photos when we were taking group shots.

When this woman tried to pour herself a drink from our host’s bar setup, he pumped the brakes, but he didn’t ask her to leave our private area. When I asked him why, he said that he is a public figure, so he has to be nice to everyone. He let her stay there.

I think he should have asked her to move as she kept trying to disrupt our group. What do you think?

— Nightclub Etiquette

DEAR NIGHTCLUB ETIQUETTE: What is supposed to happen in those situations is that the attendants who work at the club are to watch the area and ask people to leave if they are not part of the group.

This is part of the service your host paid for. It is not the host’s job to play bouncer.

If someone in a gathering like that gets unruly or if an outsider tries to intrude, the host should discreetly ask the attendant or a guard to have the person removed.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved to New York City, and I was approached by a modeling scout. At first, it felt exciting and flattering, but now I’m feeling unsure about whether I want to pursue it.

On the surface, modeling seems glamorous, but I’ve heard so many stories about how demanding, stressful and competitive the industry can be. I worry about being taken advantage of, the pressure to maintain a certain look and whether it would interfere with other goals I have for my career and personal life.

Part of me wants to explore the opportunity because it feels unique and could open doors, especially now that I’m in NYC and trying to figure out my next steps.

Another part of me is hesitant to dive into something that could be more harmful than rewarding. I also don’t want to make a decision I’ll regret.

I keep going back and forth in my head, wondering if I’m overthinking or if my instincts are warning me to stay away.

How do I figure out if this is a genuine opportunity worth pursuing or just something I should politely decline because I don’t feel as if it’s a good idea for my mental or physical health?

— Modeling Career

DEAR MODELING CAREER: Why not explore the opportunity with your eyes wide open?

Yes, modeling can be demanding and sometimes seedy, but it can also be a fun and lucrative career option.

Follow up to learn more and to see what you need to do in order to have a shot at it. Be clear about your values and boundaries so that you don’t let anyone take advantage of you. (If they start asking you for money, it’s a bright red flag!)

Give yourself a timeline to discover if this path is worthwhile for you to pursue. Evaluate along the way so that you stay on course. Have fun!

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.