Fashion Victims

Fifteen years have passed since “Zoolander”—fifteen summers, with the length of fifteen long winters! How we have ached to see once more those noble features. And here they are, in “Zoolander 2,” bearded, sadder, and yet somehow no wiser than before. Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller), who embodied everything that we look for in a male model, managed to lose his career, his wife, the custody of his son, and his ineffable mojo. Since then, he has dwelt alone, “as a hermit crab,” in a hut among snowy mountains. Thence he is summoned to rejoin the fray, on the orders of Alexanya Atoz (Kristen Wiig), the most lordly designer of the moment. Although a blizzard is howling, he sets off, unbowed, like a polar explorer, and trudges all of ten feet before reaching the haven of an Uber car.