Conor McBride lives with regret, searches for redemption

(AP) — Conor McBride, a tall young man with sandy hair, wire-rimmed glasses and impeccable manners, is waiting in the visitation room at Wakulla Correctional Institution.

Seated in a chair, its hard metal feet wrapped in foam, McBride stands politely when visitors enter.

A former honor student in high school who should now be finished with college, McBride is cheerful and engaging.

The story made national news when Ann's parents, Kate and Andy Grosmaire, devout Catholics, forgave McBride and advocated on his behalf through restorative justice.

Kate Grosmaire has now written a book, which gives an intimate account of her family's experience and includes a Q & A with their daughter's killer.

In a recent interview at the prison, he talked about his life today and reflects on that moment when he picked up a shotgun and aimed it at Ann, who was kneeling on the floor.

McBride shot Ann in the head and hand during a protracted argument at his parents' home.

While the Grosmaire's decision to request a more lenient sentence for McBride elicits admiration from many people, others tell them, 'I could never do what you did.' In the Christian faith, forgiveness isn't earned; it's undeserved grace.

What effect grace has had on McBride will ultimately be seen in how he lives after he is released in 2031— he must then serve 10 years probation.

At other times, he laughs nervously and sounds like a typical 25-year-old, like when he talks about trying to watch television in prison or the food he misses.

McBride heard the Grosmaires speak about their loss during the restorative justice process, but, he says, Kate's book gave him a deeper understanding.

There were four instances of physical abuse, and it's funny, like, in the moment I never thought of myself as an abusive person, but looking back now, it's like, 'Yeah, I was,' and just thinking about how that hurt Ann and about the harm I caused, there's a lot of regret there.

Wakulla Correctional Institution offers a variety of programs and classes, some of which McBride now leads.

The classes have helped McBride respond to anger, he says.

Shame says you're a horrible person for what you did, McBride says, whereas guilt says you just did something bad, and it's being able to proceed forward positively and accepting responsibility.

Toward the end of the interview, McBride, in prison-issued gray scrubs and black boots, stands and walks to one of the windows in the visitation room for a photo.

[...] he and Ann first started talking as students in English class at Leon High School when he involuntarily kicked her under the table, he says.

While the Grosmaires have chosen to forgive McBride, he is serving time because the state, as a representative of the people, prosecutes people who have committed crimes and could be a threat to public safety.