Science says these 7 tactics will help you win any argument
Skye Gould/Business Insider
After a highly controversial US election, you're likely to come in contact with someone you don't share the same views with.
It's easy for these calm discussions to turn ugly. If they involve family members, it can make the holidays especially stressful.
These are the most successful tactics to help you get your point across in a courteous and educated way.
Drake Baer contributed to an earlier version of this story.
Skye Gould/Business InsiderAttacking someone's ideas puts them into fight-or-flight mode. Once they're on edge, there will be no getting through to them.
So if you want to be convincing, practice "extreme agreement": Take your conversational partner's views and advance them to their logical — and perhaps absurd — conclusion.
Skye Gould/Business Insider
Contrary to what your debate coach said, arguments aren't rational.
So respect the other person's perspective, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.
"When people have their self-worth validated in some way, they tend to be more receptive to information that challenges their beliefs," political psychologist Peter Ditto from the University of California at Irvine tells New York Magazine.
With that emotional connection established, you can then start getting logical.
Skye Gould/Business Insider
If you're in a spat with your spouse, couples psychologist John Gottman says to ask questions that allow him or her to open up.
Examples include:
• How would you change it if you had all the money in the world?
• What do you want your life to be like in three years?
• How do you like your job?
It works in arguments at work, too — open-ended questions help transform competitive interactions into cooperative ones.
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