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Ever since the 2015 US supreme court decision legalized same-sex marriages nationwide, partners Alicia Verdier and Erin Hansen had planned to get hitched.
But the four and a half years of their relationship had been busy. Then Hillary Clinton lost the election.
Verdier went to bed on 8 November heartbroken and awoke hours later, at 3am, in a state of panic. “All I could think was there was a possibility, with new supreme court nominees, we might lose our right to get married,” she said.
She wasn’t alone. “I have so many friends who’ve gotten married in the last two months,” said Verdier. “Whatever else Trump may think he’s done, he’s caused a lot of gay people to get married.
“I’m sure that wasn’t his plan, but that’s what he gets as his inauguration gift: all the gay people are getting married.”
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National marriage figures aren’t yet available for 2016, but anecdotally, since the election, same-sex couples have been galloping down the aisle.
“I’ve certainly heard stories such as marriages being rushed,” said Stephen Peters, national press secretary for the Human Rights Campaign, the largest national LGBT civil rights organization.
Hundreds of people called the helpline of Lambda Legal, a legal group for the civil rights of the LGBT community, worried about same-sex marriage laws.
“After the election, the single biggest question from callers was: is my marriage safe and will I still be able to get married?” said Camilla Taylor, who served as director for the marriage project at Lambda Legal before the supreme court ruling.
Taylor says she is aware of many same-sex couples who pushed wedding dates forward in order to get married before the Trump inauguration.
Sean and Lee Winterhalter announced last February they would wed on 14 January 2017, the date of their 12th anniversary, in a small ceremony with friends and family. But getting hitched days away from a Trump administration scared them.
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“You don’t know if 2017 comes, and we’re married, and they decide they’re going to retract all those marriages in 2017 and make them null and void,” said Sean, a 32-year-old hairdresser.
So instead, on Christmas Eve 2016, they got married at their home in Connellsville, Pennsylvania, a small town about 50 miles from Pittsburgh. Just the couple and a long-term friend serving as officiant were in attendance.
“We really wanted to emphasize the fact that the wedding was just about the union of two people coming together and making a commitment for a lifetime,” said Sean.
Overturning the same-sex marriage decision would be very unlikely – and would face a strong legal and public challenge.
“Even really conservative justices don’t like to go back and revisit very recent decisions,” noted Taylor.
Trump has said before he is “fine” with the legalization of same-sex marriage, declaring the supreme court decision “done” in an interview with CBS News days after the election.
But there are still good reasons why the LGBT community should be concerned about the legal ramifications of a Trump presidency, she says.
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“While the marriage decision is unlikely to be overturned in the near future, President-elect Trump has shown every indication to appoint to the supreme court and lower courts judges who will oppose the rights of LGBT people,” said Taylor.
She notes that current legislation before Congress would allow businesses to discriminate against same-sex couples based on religious justification, a law already found unconstitutional by courts in Mississippi. With a Republican-controlled Congress and a Republican president, anti-LGBT laws could pass much more easily.
For Verdier and other couples it wasn’t just the fear that motivated their decision to get married.
Couples wanted to pay tribute to the president who made it legal for them to marry.
“We’re so in awe of President Obama and everything he’s done for our community, being married in 2016, while he’d still be president, really meant something special to us,” said Lee Winterhalter, a 34-year-old retail manager.
In tears at 3.30am the morning after the election, Verdier told her partner Erin that she wanted to get married during the Obama presidency.
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“It’s an empty gesture of sorts, to try and align your wedding date with a particular date, but it feels important,” explained Verdier.
And suddenly the couple who had no time for wedding planning was busy organizing a ceremony in their old home town of Ann Arbor, Michigan. A marriage license was acquired, a mayor from neighboring Ypsilanti found to officiate. Flights were booked and friends and family alerted. On 22 December 2016, standing in front of a small group of loved ones in Nickels Arcade, near where they had their first date, Hansen and Verdier got married.
After a celebratory meal at a restaurant that night, Verdier’s pre-teen daughter allayed those Trump fears, telling her mother: “He can’t stop you any more.”
“We didn’t plan for it to be rushed or winter or freezing and wanted more family and friends, but we can still have all of that at a later date,” said Verdier.
Arizona couple Ingri and Val Lopez still plan to go ahead with their July 2017 ceremony under a Trump administration.
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“He will not take away my plans for the perfect wedding,” said Val, a nursing technician. But officially, they wed on 7 January just to protect themselves legally.
“I didn’t want to wait to see what would happen,” said Val, 31. “I do want to remember that our marriage license was under a president whom I respect with all my heart.”
Newlyweds Melissa and Nicole Newman-Darbois got engaged on 21 March 2015, just six months after they started dating – “a lesbian cliche”, they quip.
The pair work at rival high schools. Melissa, 40, is a social worker and Nicole, 32, a teacher. They had planned a city hall wedding in their hometown of St Petersburg, Florida, on Memorial Day, 29 May 2017, even arranging for the mayor to marry them. Melissa had already found her dress, on clearance sale for just $34 in a local boutique, and hid it in the back of their closet so Nicole didn’t see it before the ceremony.
But after the election, Nicole “had moments of just utter extremism” she said, fearing the new administration would come and repeal gay marriage before their May wedding, even though she knew realistically that would be difficult legally.
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“I still didn’t want our wedding to be tainted and I felt it would be somewhat tainted by the ugliness of his administration, his policies, his rhetoric,” said Nicole.
Melissa said she “felt strongly about getting married under this administration which has been inclusive and LGBT friendly”.
And so, mid-December, a new plan was hatched. Last weekend, the pair flew to New Orleans and got married, just the two of them, at the French Quarter Wedding Chapel. One of their first dates had been to an MLK Day parade, so the date seemed perfect.
After the vows, they walked around New Orleans, with well-wishers cheering them on the street, congratulating them and taking photos.
“As a gay woman, in the back of your head there is always ‘who is going to judge me or not like me because of my sexual orientation’. But as soon as we walked out there, those feelings dissipated,” said Nicole.
“It was a great reminder that there is more good and love and light in this world than the opposite.”
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