Nic Cage's Dead by Daylight voice lines will haunt me for the rest of my life

I don't know what I expected when I sat down to rifle through award-winning actor Nicolas Cage's new Dead by Daylight voice lines today. I'm actually glad I went in without expectations, because nothing could have prepared me for this.

Nicolas Cage fully enters Behaviour Interactive's asymmetrical multiplayer horror hit later this month, though he's currently available on the Dead by Daylight public test build on Steam.  Nic plays himself as a survivor, bringing his customary thespian flare and zany antics to the Realms. 

He's tried to prepare us for this, waxing lyrical about his mystical ability to mind-meld with us unsuspecting gamers like no actor before him, promising he'll become fused to us, that we'll become one. Well, welcome to the Nic Cage hivemind.

A video chock-full of Nic Cage goodness, courtesy of Youtube channel Syrekx, is now available. Here are a few of my favourite quotes:

• "I am completely and utterly cow-tit FUCKED."
• "You got the hook under Nic Cage's ribcage!" 
• "Out of the frying pan, and… wherever I end up." 
• "I'm six years old again, and the boogeyman is coming because I made a big noise and I'm very sorry!"
• "Don't do this to me, I'm not a worm!"
• "I'll stand up again! I'll walk! I'll scare the FUCK out of you, killer! I'm Nic Fucking Cage!"
• (After a deep sniff): "I smell… crows."

I'm only scratching the surface here, because Nic also sings his way through the horrors of the Realms a shocking amount. He might be the only person there—killers notwithstanding—actually having fun. Alternatively, breaking out into improvised jazz scatting (yes, really) is just his fear response.

His in-game abilities include Dramaturgy, a speed boost followed by a random debuff, Scene Partner, which lets Nic see the killer for an extended period of time via some kind of scream-based echolocation, and Plot Twist, which lets Nic feign death. Here's a full breakdown of Nick Cage's Dead by Daylight abilities to read after you've finished processing this radioactive dose of Cage exposure. No rush.

You can play the Cage himself right now on the test servers, but you'll have to wait until July 25 to fully fuse with him in the game proper.