The Indiana Jones Diet Will Save Your Life

When I used to work in corporate entertainment, I had the most spectacular boss. He was in his late 40s, and while he rarely worked out beyond an occasional swim (he was managing a frantic work life, kids - the whole deal), he always stayed trim and fit and had tons of energy. He was happy and unfettered (for the most part) by the challenges of a busy life. He ate reasonably well, but not in an inspired way.

He asked me how I kept my lean body (I was 49 at the time). I told him. He nodded his multi-million dollar head and swept his fingers through his $400 haircut and said, "Well, that's just wonderful. I mean, all you did. It's inspiring. I think my body is a temple as well, but I like to raid it now then. Don't trust people who don't. Something suspicious about all that."

To give you a sense of where I've come from, here are two pictures of me.

Me in 2010:


You gonna eat that?

Me today:



Is there a McDonalds around here?

No irony my favorite ice cream in 2009 was Ben & Jerry's "Chunky Monkey".

I lost a total of 55 pounds and a lot of Oedipal issues, as well as a need to hide fries on the way home from my job. My favorite excuse at the time was that I'm of Irish and English descent, thus eating carbs and looking fairly sweet and doughy is in my DNA.

What's that thing about Law of Attraction? We attract what we most focus upon?

I was reading this article recently on Melissa McCarthy. I'd give anything to see her do Chekov in that kitty sweater she wore in the movie "Spy". There wouldn't be a dry pair of Depends in the house. To be fair, I have very absurdist taste in movies. I think "Airplane" should have swept the Oscars.

Anyway, Ms. McCarthy lost a bunch of weight recently. When the interviewer asked her how she did it, I expected to read, "Oh, you know - macrobiotic" or "Paleo or death!" or "So much cardio, I vomited a lung."

Instead, she said was something to the effect of "You know...I just stopped thinking about food. Isn't that crazy? I didn't focus on it like I used to and the pounds faded. I distracted myself. Personally, I don't get it."

After reading her insightful comments, I turned on the TV and there was one of my favorite spiritual teachers talk about America's troubling relationship with obesity. I had been obsessing about the 10 pounds I still have on my stomach. I have this habit of grabbing that last vestige and pulling on it like Silly Putty.

On TV, this famous spiritual teacher said, "It's not what we eat in life, it's how we FEEL about eating it. If we don't feel good eating it, then how on earth can we expect our bodies to like it?"

I'm talking a lot about food because I could go on and on about all the exercise I've undergone. I used to teach aerobics during Jane Fonda's heyday. I wore leg warmers and all. They were very slimming to my fat, Irish legs. They need to make a comeback.

Then I stopped doing aerobics, dealt with a lot of emotional issues and got chubby.

Fast-forward 20 years. I hit my 40's and I'm back at the gym on a regular basis, but not losing much flab. Fast-forward to age 46. I take up yoga, and I'm amazed at how much I hate the instructor, but how fantastic I feel after.

Fast-forward again to my becoming a certified spinning instructor at age 46. Even after that grueling certification process, I only started to lose weight after I stopped doing what Guru McCarthy said, and that was to subscribe to what others said I needed to eat to lose weight, and instead, ate what felt good to me...and then pounds dropped faster than the ratings for the last season of "Lost".

People who I haven't seen in 10 years say I look younger at 51 then I looked at 40. I always feel a little bad when they say that, and think to myself, "Did I look that bad back then?"

The answer is, I didn't look bad, so much as unhappy. Or, I should say, not willing to embrace the secret optimist I was. Once I accepted I'm a big sap, who can also be a badass, and I became conscious of how I felt about what I ate, then it became a easier to avoid shoving a Big Mac down my throat in less than 30 seconds behind a McDonalds dumpster.

There is a lot more I do. I use an affordable, organic face-moisturizing regimen (it's possible to feel masculine whilst rubbing your face with something that smells of blueberries and petroleum). I'm picky about hair products. I take too many vitamins. I buy clothes on how they feel, not how comfortable they are to take a nap in.

Taking care of ourselves as we get older is truly the greatest gift we can give ourselves. If we gain all of this insight and awareness and clarity after 50, don't we want to milk the heck out of it as we age? If I told you everything I do it would take a part 2, 3 and maybe 4, and I don't want to tax the nerves of my deeply stellar Editor-in-Chief, so...

I'll close the book gracefully and say this: keep thinking of your body as a temple, but make Indiana Jones proud and raid it now and then. But be careful and make sure your ark isn't made of trans-fat. I've heard that's a killer, but it can sure taste good once in awhile.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.