1. Eat: Pigs in Blankets Pot, £2.50.

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Sausages wrapped in maple bacon with cranberry sauce.

Team France:

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Pierre (right): Am I supposed to be eating jam with this?

That's cranberry sauce.

Marie: Euuuughh. Why have you put jam on this?

Pierre: I sometimes eat fig jam on foie gras and that's good.

Jules (centre): I just... *looks incredibly sad*

Reaction:

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Team Germany:

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Dani: The sausage and bacon seems excessive.

Phillip: It works for me.

We usually have these with a roast dinner.

Dani: Wow, so lots of different parts of animals?

Phillip: Yeah, makes sense.

Dani: I like the sauce.

Their reaction:

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2. Pret: Veggie Christmas Lunch Sandwich, £3.25, and Christmas Lunch Sandwich, £3.60.

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Left: Roasted chunks of butternut squash, nutty pesto, rocket, yoghurt and mayo dressing, and crispy onions on malted bread. Right: Turkey breast, cranberry and port sauce, Pret’s stuffing (made with minced pork, streaky bacon, and apricots), crispy onions, and fresh baby spinach on malted bread.

Team France:

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So these are really popular.

Marie: I don't see why. Nope. The cranberry ruins everything.

Pierre: This is good. It's really good. I feel like it'd be better with a different type of bread.

Marie: Oh shit. Oh fuck. The vegetarian one is so gross. It's really nutty.

I think it's supposed to be a nut roast.

Jules: I got the vegetarian and I don't like it. No no no. The one with meat is not bad. I wouldn't pay for it. How many more dishes do I have to try?

Their reaction:

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Team Germany:

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Dani: The cranberry sauce is really strong. Is this mayo on it? Why? There's just too much on it – first there's turkey, then cranberry, then the mayo. I'm anti mayo and it's too much.

Phillip: I like it because there's a lot going on. I don't know what's in this vegetarian thing but I like it.

Dani: We don't have anything like the vegetarian one in Germany.

Is it quite hard being a vegetarian at Christmas in Germany?

Phillip: Yeah.

Dani: Christmas is all about meat.

Their reaction:

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3. M&S: Smoked Salmon Snowballs With Crostini ("with a dusting of Christmas sparkle"), £2.50.

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Team France:

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Jules: Fuck M&S. I don't even know where to put this. [eats] That's good. This is classic Christmas food.

Pierre: It's like a pâté but you have actual bits of salmon in it.

Jules: I'd like someone to spread it for me though.

And how do you feel about the silver?

Pierre: Nice touch.

Response:

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The French team later ate all of the leftover salmon.

Team Germany:

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Phillip: Why is it silver?

Dani: Is that their colour in the wild? This tastes like something we'd have for Christmas. Like a smoked salmon for Christmas. Here it feels quite posh – you have all these deconstructed things in England. This seems like a perfectly fine salmon sandwich but you've taken it apart.

Phillip: It'd be great at parties.

Their reaction:

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4. Leon x Gizzi: Turkey Curry, £6.45.

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Turkey, carrots, and parsnips in a creamy curry sauce, spiced with garam masala, cumin, and coriander. Topped with a sprinkling of crispy onions.

Team France:

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Marie: Mmm.

Jules: Yeah!

Pierre: Yeah, absolutely.

This is kind of a tradition here.

Jules: This feels like good hangover food.

Their reaction:

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Team Germany:

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Phillip: Today's the first time I've ever had turkey. It's good.

Dani: I don't really think it's Christmassy. But I like it.

Their reaction:

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5. Boots: Handcrafted Christmas Cake, £1.20.

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Team France:

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Jules: What is on top?

It's marzipan.

Pierre: Ooo!

Marie: Oh, fuck that.

Jules: Yeeugh. [spits out bite]

Pierre: It just fills your mouth. In France we have a chocolate Christmas cake, that is much better.

Reaction:

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Team Germany:

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Dani: This is like stollen. This is great, very sticky but I like it.

Phillip: In Germany at Christmas we have a lot of baked things: gingerbread, biscuits, cake. This is similar. Yep. Good.

Their reaction:

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So overall that feels like a strong C+ for British high street Christmas food. That's definitely better than what we all expected!

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