Tales from the Coffeeshop: From Sharm el-Sheikh with delusions

TWO WEEKS ago the audited accounts of the Independent Agency of Social Support for 2023 and 2024 were released, advertising the ability of the first lady, Philippa Karsera Christodoulidou (PKC) to use her position to collect money, mainly from unnamed sources, despite her hubby’s much-trumpeted commitment to transparency.

Prezniktwo has zealously defended the anonymity of donors, refused to sign the law approved by the legislature that stipulated the naming of donors that gave more than €5,000 and referred it to the supreme court for a ruling on its constitutionality.

I will advertise my legal ignorance here by wondering how transparency on money donations to the government could ever be unconstitutional. Is the anonymity of companies and individuals that donate large amounts of money to the president’s wife, for charity purposes, protected by our constitutional? We await to hear whether transparency would be deemed unconstitutional by the court.

To be fair, the Prez has only been following the orders of Mrs PKC on this. When the bill was being discussed at a House committee meeting, she beseeched deputies to remove the provision about disclosure of identity, claiming, unconvincingly, that that this would negatively affect her money collection. Transparency would be shunned for a worthy cause.

THIS business of presidential palace charity was started by the late comrade Tof when he was prez. The palace was given 200 grand by a well-known businessman, who wanted the government to give him a host of building relaxations and special permissions for an ambitious development project in the Paphos district.

All the favours requested by the generous businessman from government departments were reportedly granted, while his altruistic donation was distributed among the needy communists who would write to the magnanimous comrade Prez asking for assistance because they had a bad break.

The presidential palace charity was formalised by Preznikone, who set up the Agency for Social Support, after receiving a generous donation from his Saudi Arabian buddy, whose extended family – including a couple of wives – were granted the Cyprus passport. The Prez’s wife Andri was put in charge of the agency, which helped needy students during the recession years.

When Prezniktwo came to the throne the Agency became the hobby of his queen who seemed to relish the idea of becoming a public benefactor with other people’s money, altruistically and anonymously donated to her worthy cause.

UNDER the far-sighted guidance of Mrs PKC, the Agency started to collect serious money. Whereas in the last year of Nik I presidency in 2022 Mrs Andri collected €260,000, in 2023, according to the audited accounts, Mrs PKC collected nearly 10 times as much cash – €2.26m. She is making more than Radiomarathonios.

The following year this fell slightly to €2.17m. What is strange is that not all the money collected is spent. In 2023 there was a surplus of €1.72m and in 2024 €573,000. It is not clear what happened to the €2m plus accumulated surplus. Will it be generously donated to non-needy students in 2027, before the election year for weed and other recreational drugs?

On Thursday a special event was held at the presidential palace to mark 10 years of the agency at which Mrs PKC explained that money was given for rent or tuition fees of students, for whom state support was inadequate.

This support system was put in place at a time when families were really destitute, but there is no need for it today unless our first family wants to establish a culture of dependency that is very helpful to the benefactors come elections.

COMMIE youth, meanwhile, are also fighting for greater dependency on state handouts for students. The Akel, student organisation, Progressive Movement of Students, announced the start of a campaign with the slogan, “Patience has run out. Dignified grant now!”

In the last 12 years (since comrade Tof left office) “successive governments have been cutting the student grant at a time when student needs are multiplying.” Why the needs have multiplied the Progressives did not say, but they want a substantive increase of the student grant, speedier payouts and the re-adjustment of income and social criteria.

It made clear that “students are not beggars nor are they asking for charity; they are asking for dignified and substantive support.” Why do they not apply to Mrs PKC’s agency which offers only dignified and substantive support? I am sure there is no discrimination against Akelites when they are eligible for dignified support.

PREZNIKTWO enjoyed his finest hour – so far – last Monday when he was one of the select few that attended the Donald Trump ceasefire agreement jamboree in Sharm el-Sheikh. He was with all the big boys of world politics paying tribute to the US president, and, to his credit, he did not clap like the rest of them when the Donald was praising Erdogan to high heaven.

Phil, which is directly briefed by the presidential palace about the greatness of the prez, was waxing lyrical about his presence at the event, which according to “diplomatic sources, constitutes a tangible recognition of the upgraded diplomatic presence of the Cyprus Republic.”

The same anonymous diplomatic sources said the invitation “confirms that Cyprus is a factor of stability in the Middle East and highlights the international trust it enjoys from countries with leading role like the US and Egypt.” Cyprus was “an interlocutor with all the parties and not an observer of regional developments,” added the diplomatic sources.

Why had this diplomatic source asked for anonymity when he was praising the Prez and his achievements? He was not saying anything negative or revealing state secrets so why was he embarrassed to give his name?

NOT SATSIFIED with just securing an invitation to the event, the Prez had to let it be known, via his personal journo – Phil’s Andreas Bimbishis – that he went to Sharm el-Sheikh with a six-point plan for the implementation of the next stage of the agreement between Israel and Hamas.

The Prez was on such a high at being with the big boys, he had to carry on showing off, by getting Bimbishis to report that he had taken a six-point implementation plan with him, “which he discussed both at Sharm el-Sheikh and in a telephone conversation he had with the president of the European Commission.”

The idea that Kyproulla’s flyweight Prez would propose an implementation plan for an agreement brokered by the US, is just too stupid for words. Even more stupid when you consider that the event at Sharm el-Sheikh was ceremonial and no discussion was planned for the implementation of the US peace plan. Who had our prez actually discussed his plan with, we still do not know.

ON THE DAY this story appeared in Phil, the deputy minister for European Affairs, Marilena Raouna, appeared on the Trito radio news show to talk about the six-point plan (the prez must have decided she would be more convincing than Mini Me). She was asked by the presenter “what had the president exactly submitted at the conference?”

She never answered, even though she waffled about the plan for about 10 minutes, without telling us what the Prez had submitted and to whom? The honest answer would have been ‘nothing, and to nobody’ but she did not want to wreck the official yarn.

RECOGNISING that he had made a fool of himself with the yarn about the plan, the prez offered Phil another exclusive to divert attention away from his PR blunder.

The next day, Bimbishis reported that “Turkey moved behind the scenes in order to exclude the Cyprus Republic from participating in the signing ceremony for the end of the clashes in Gaza that took place in Sharm el-Sheikh.”

Bimbishis was unable to attribute this story to anyone, not even an unnamed diplomatic source, which was rather strange. He quoted the Prez as saying that “despite the fact that there were some who did not want the Cyprus Republic to be there, were represented.”

When Foreign Minister Constantinos Kombos was asked about to comment on what the prez had claimed, he said that when there was such activity, “our mind goes to the usual suspect.” Why would neither Kombos nor the Prez mention Turkey by name? Why were they afraid to enjoy this triumph?

Our Prez’s international standing and influence had had prevented Ankara from getting its way and nobody is celebrating. Why?