“I don’t have to be nice to you”: 17 brutally honest things retail and restaurant workers are holding back
From maintaining composure in front of Karens to managing unrealistic demands from customers, customer service can be brutal for workers. But what if retail and restaurant workers said what they really think?
A Redditor on r/AskReddit poses the question: "Retail & restaurant folks: You get one magical day to tell rude customers exactly what you think—no filter, no firing. What’s the brutally honest line you’ve been holding back?"
Some share brilliant clapbacks for rude customers or obvious questions that would get them fired instantly. Others say they would take the opportunity to give candid feedback to customers about their shopping habits.
A few say they wouldn't need to use words at all to get their point across. Here's what customer service workers are holding back on the job.
1. "I’m going to add a note to your accounts..."
"I was a bank teller for many years in my 20s. After a while, I became one of the head tellers, and one day, a new teller was waiting on a customer. She asked him for the last 4 of his SSN and DOB to identify him, and he gave her a ton of shit and said how he was a lifelong customer here and shouldn’t be forced to share that info. He was a real dick, and she was noticeably shaken, so I stepped in and said 'Ok, sir, I understand what you’re saying. I’m going to add a note to your accounts saying that under no circumstances should anyone withdrawing money from your accounts ever be identified, no matter the amount.' That shut him right the eff up, and he agreed the new teller was doing the right thing." —u/nobleheartedkate
2. "Shop earlier next year, dumbass"
"I'd save it until Christmas Eve. Just once, I want to be able to say: 'If you wanted matching pajamas for your family, you shouldn't have waited until December 24th! We've literally had them since October. Shop earlier next year, dumbass.'" —u/watchforbicycles
3. "Because people shop here on Christmas Day"
"There’s one I did say and maybe wasn’t supposed to. My first job was at CVS pharmacy, and idk about now, but back then, they literally had no days off. So I worked on Christmas 2 times. Each time, people would ask, 'Why would they make you work Christmas Day?' To which I would always respond, 'Because people shop here on Christmas Day.' I’m here because you decided to be here." —u/Dudebutdrugs
4. "I would say little, just un-set the table"
"Restaurant dood here, I would say little, just un-set the table, and say we will not be serving you or your party. Let them stew over it." —u/TedBrogan187
"As a former waiter, I appreciate this style. Bring them the menus, silverware, and water. They cop attitude. Remove water, silverware, and menus. End of interaction." —u/StateChemist
5. "Do you think the CEO of Exxon asks me?"
“Mister, I’m running the register at a quickie mart. Do you think the CEO of Exxon asks me what the price of gas should be?” —u/lady-of-thermidor
6. "This ain't Target"
"I used to tell a******* at the comic shop I used to work at, 'This ain't Target. I don't have to be nice to you.'" —u/mbufu1
7. "They'd never trust another loving gesture from you"
"If your partner knew how little care you put into these flowers and how much of it you casually offloaded onto me while haggling over the price, they'd never trust another loving gesture from you, and they would be right."—u/MarzipanMarzipan
8. "I can't understand it for you"
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you...........idiot." —u/leezetcouture
9. "They’re literally just shoes"
"They’re literally just shoes. They go on your feet and get dirty and scraped up to protect your feet. You cannot both wear them and have them remain pristine." —u/Qui_te
10. "I am tired"
"Why are you coming into the store at 8:50 when the store closes at 9pm? I am tired and want to get home."—u/jma7400
11. "Just get the [expletive] out of here"
"Former restaurant worker here. I'd tell EVERYONE after 10pm to just get the f*** out of here while we're closing up, just so we could hit the bar next door right at midnight (while we close at exactly midnight)." —u/saruin
12. "Then we'd both be wrong"
"I would absolutely agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. Thanks for sharing your insecurities with me."—u/Raumdeuter1905
13. "I'm nice to you because it's my job"
"I don't actually like you and would literally rather watch paint dry than voluntarily spend any time in your presence. I'm nice to you because it's my job. We are not friends, and no, I don't want to hang out sometime. Byyeeeeeee." —u/_sam_fox_
14. "Failure to plan on your part..."
"'Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.' The whole time I worked Night Audit, I wanted that on a placard behind me on the wall." —u/Public_Road_6426
15. "You are the reason no one likes you"
"Your order ahead is late because other people use the app besides you and it took ten minutes to take your order because we are short four people. You are the reason no one likes you." —u/EdelwoodEverly
16. "You could have saved a lot of money"
"If you are this dedicated to not enjoying yourself at my restaurant, you could have saved a lot of money by not having any fun at home." —u/Pays_in_snakes
17. "Drive to the other store"
"It's fifty cents cheaper at the other store - then why are you here? Go spend the $10 to drive to the other store." —u/KoalaSyrah
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