Carolyn Bessette didn’t want to fly with John F. Kennedy Jr. to cousin’s wedding, new book claims

The glamorous couple were killed nearly 20 years ago, flying to the Hyannis Port wedding of John F. Kennedy Jr.'s cousin Rory Kennedy -- a wedding Carolyn Bessette was reluctant to attend.

When John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette were killed in a plane crash July 16, 1999, they were trying to work out problems in their marriage that stemmed from his fame, her insecurities, his jealousy, their recreational drug use and the fact that his sister and other Kennedy family members never warmed to her.

“Together they had the most thrilling highs and the most crushing blows,” writes author J. Randy Taraborrelli in a new book “The Kennedy Heirs,” which delves into Kennedy Jr.’s marriage and the Kennedy family’s third generation. “Their love for each other was undeniable, but was it enough considering everything that was working against them?”

The handsome Kennedy heir and the beautiful Calvin Klein publicist married in what was described as “a storybook wedding” on Cumberland Island, Georgia, on Sept. 21, 1996, according to Taraborrelli’s book, which is excerpted in People.

They were headed to another wedding in July 1999, at the Kennedy family compound in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, when the Piper Saratoga II HP that Kennedy was piloting crashed into the waters off Martha’s Vineyard. The crash, nearly 20 years ago, killed Kennedy, 38; Bessette, 33; and Bessette’s sister, Lauren, 34.

It turns out that Carolyn Bessette had not wanted to go to the wedding of Kennedy’s cousin Rory, Taraborrelli wrote. She had even called Rory Kennedy’s mother, Ethel, to apologize and say she couldn’t make it.

Bessette was not eager to return to the Hyannis Port compound after an uncomfortable visit there when she was first dating Kennedy in the mid-1990s, according to Taraborrelli.

Ethel Kennedy, the widow of Robert Kennedy, was considered to be the family matriarch — and she had quizzed Bessette about current events at the dinner table. Bessette showed that she was not as up on current events as the famously political Kennedys would expect of John Jr.’s future bride.

Ethel Kennedy subsequently summoned Bessette to her home in February 1996, after she and Kennedy were caught on film having a big fight in Central Park. Ethel Kennedy advised Bessette to always keep her emotions in check if she was going to date or marry her nephew.

“It was tough love because she wanted Carolyn to make it,” Taraborrelli wrote, “and she sensed her vulnerability.”

But Bessette also never won the unconditional support of John Jr.’s sister, Caroline, in part because of the Central Park incident.

“Caroline was critical of Carolyn and felt she should have known better,” Taraborrelli wrote. But Caroline Kennedy had also never approved of the many other women in her younger brother’s life.

“Caroline is a resilient strong woman who feels like you need to take care of yourself and she didn’t feel like Carolyn had what it took to be a Kennedy wife,”  Taraborrelli added. “She was very protective of John and that prevented her from extending herself when Carolyn needed help.”

Taraborrelli’s book also chronicles the struggles Bessette had with her husband’s fame. While Kennedy was used to the constant media attention, Bessette often felt hunted by the paparazzi, which ruthlessly followed the couple around New York City.

To deal with the stress from the media attention, the couple sometimes did drugs, including cocaine, but friends insisted to Taraborrelli that neither had a drug problem.

“This was the ’90s when young people, like John and Carolyn, sometimes partied,” Taraborrelli wrote. “They had experiences the way people often do. I found no evidence of any addiction or problems for either of them.”

Adding stress to their relationship was the impending death of Kennedy’s cousin Anthony Radziwill, who had cancer. Radziwill was the son of Lee Radziwill, the younger sister of Kennedy’s mother, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. She had died in 1994, before Kennedy and Bessette began dating.

“John and Anthony had a relationship no one could get in the middle of,” Taraborrelli wrote. “And Carolyn was having a hard time accessing him.”

The troubles in the marriage prompted Bessette in 1998 to turn to a longtime male friend, according to Taraborrelli. Her visit with the friend ended with the two kissing, though Bessette quickly pulled away. Feeling guilt and regret, she told her husband about the kiss, which sent Kennedy into a jealous rage. Two nights later, Kennedy went to the friend’s apartment at 2 a.m. and took a swing at him.

It may have been that incident that prompted the couple to go into counseling, according to Taraborrelli. “Both wanted to improve their marriage,” Taraborrelli explained. “John didn’t want to be one of those Kennedy men who didn’t care how his wife feels.”

Kennedy and Bessette continued to work on their marriage into the next year, with Bessette referring to them being “on probation,” Taraborrelli wrote.

When they were invited to Rory Kennedy’s wedding, Bessette initially said no. But several days later, she changed her mind, knowing how much it meant for her husband for her to go with him. She invited her sister, Lauren, to come along.

When the plane crashed off Martha’s Vineyard, killing all three passengers, a confused Ethel Kennedy kept asking why Bessette was on the plane, according to Taraborrelli. She hoped that Bessette had stuck to her instinct to not come to the wedding.

“Oh, how I wish she had listened to it,” Taraborelli reports that Ethel Kennedy said.