Miss Manners: I don’t want these heirlooms, and nobody else does either

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My girlfriend is somebody I’ve known for quite a long time — the past five years, to be exact, though we only just started dating three months ago. I think it’s worth mentioning that I’m 17.

Since our introduction, we became extremely close, closer than any of our other friends, and have made a stack of memories.

We’ve also had plenty of disagreements and many arguments, and we almost stopped talking altogether, other than an occasional text message here and there, for several months. But we started talking again, and then she persistently pursued me for a year before I finally asked her on a date.

My point is that we have a past. I love her to death. In fact, I’m considering the idea of marriage, which is a topic I’ve always been against. I try to show her my feelings all of the time, too, and she claims to really appreciate it.

This isn’t to confess my love, but rather it’s because I’m worried she’ll get sick of my love eventually. For a while she said that I’m a “mystery” to her. But as I open up to her and become more vulnerable, will she become bored of me, with the loss of vagueness? Am I just overthinking this, or if I’m not, how should I go about avoiding that?

GENTLE READER: Welcome to the human condition.

Of course you are overthinking this; people do when they are in love. But Miss Manners promises you that by the time you are old enough to be married, you will have the answers to your questions — at least in this particular case.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 20-something male in a one-bedroom downtown apartment, and I have inherited a large collection of family heirlooms. My grandmother was a prolific home seamstress who took pride in her work. She tagged and saved a number of really beautiful textile samples that were made with great care during her generation and that of her parents.

While I treasure old things, these fragile, unstylish, century-old, hand-woven, hand-sewn heirlooms should have passed, mother to daughter, to somebody else. But there is nobody else, and I find the odds quite slim I’ll meet someone who will actually care about them in my generation.

How can I show respect to these heirlooms and their curators, for which I have neither space nor lifestyle to truly care for?

GENTLE READER: The plain rule is that once something has been given to you, you may dispose of it as you will. But Miss Manners is pleased that you have a sense of piety for your grandmother’s treasures. You — and she — will feel better if you offer them to a textile museum or local sewing or quilting club.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If I am not mistaken, controversial subjects like religion and politics are things that should be avoided at social functions, or almost anywhere else, for that matter. What is your advice when it comes to conversations about politics??

GENTLE READER: Duck.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.