Couple plans downsized home years before kids flew the coop

Three years ago, when their youngest child was 15, Paula and Paul Loftus ran the numbers, and, after a brief analysis, foresaw that this child, too, would very likely finish high school and go away to college, just like his older brother and sister.

And that meant one thing: They would be left with too much house.

Now, we all know that crossing the gap between knowing and doing is like Evel Knievel jumping the Snake River Canyon on skateboard. Thus, most empty nesters default into staying in the family home for one of three reasons, or all of them: 1. Denial (The kids love this home; moving would break their hearts.) 2. Complacency (Moving is too much effort. This house is so full of everyone’s stuff it would take dynamite and a backhoe to get us out.) 3. Fear (Where would we go? What would we do with the leftover furniture?)

Last month they traded their 6,000 square-foot, six-bedroom home of 17 years for a 3,200 square-foot, four-bedroom, with a 1,000 square-foot basement. They sold, donated or tossed more than half of their household contents.

Two weeks ago, my husband and I had the honor of being their first dinner guests.

“After the home tour, I settled in the seating area next to the big open kitchen, opened my laptop and popped off some questions.

Paul, a business consultant, sees nothing but upside. “We got rid of our micro-economy and all that went with it,” he said referring to the former home, which sat on more than an acre. The new home is on a quarter acre. He estimates their monthly household expenses will be a third of what they were.

But such a lifestyle change stage doesn’t just happen. It takes foresight, intention and effort. Here’s what Paula and Paul considered as they dreamed, planned and built their downsized dream house:

• Respectful architecture. Because the street they built on had houses dating back to the late 1800s, the Loftuses built an American four-square house, a style popular at the turn of the century. “A modern home would have just been inconsiderate,” said Paula. Details like antique vent plates, floors of reclaimed heart pine and repurposed parts of the original structure make the home look decades older than it is.
• A chef’s kitchen. “The kitchen is where everyone in our family loves to cook and hangout,” Paula said, so they made a big French-inspired kitchen the heart of the home.
• No dining room. The Loftuses are known for hosting great dinner parties, but they didn’t want a dining room that would often go unused. The new home has an eat-in kitchen with a table that can extend to accommodate many guests.
• Multipurpose areas. Rather than one big room to gather in, the home has several areas for seating or other uses.
• Smaller bedrooms. While each of their three children still has a bedroom “they are coming to visit, not to live,” said Paula. So bedrooms are much smaller.
• One-level living. “We wanted a house where we could live entirely on one floor, so we can age here,” said Paula.
• Less stuff. “I gave myself permission to give away all the stuff I had hung onto simply because I had the room,” said Paula.
• Great technology. “Any sentimental longings our kids had about the move were quickly forgotten when they discovered that we’re wired,” said Paul, who invested in the latest, up-to-speed technology.
• And the memories? “I don’t think memories are in a house,” said Paula. “They are in the special items you collect that are part of your life.”