Dear Abby: I’m 74, and a waitress roughed me up in a bathroom
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were getting ready to leave after dinner at a restaurant we’ve patronized for 15 years. I went to the ladies’ room and was washing my hands when a waitress I don’t care for came barging in, got in my face and started yelling at me.
I tried to leave, but she wouldn’t let me out of the restroom. I asked her several times to let me out, and she kept telling me no. When she finally let me go, I told the man in charge what she did.
My husband called him later, but the manager believed the waitress, who said that I started it. Another waitress who calls me her “sister” didn’t answer the texts I sent her. I am very hurt that she ignored me. Clearly, she believes the waitress, too.
The restroom encounter left red marks all over my arm, but the manager didn’t care. The offender has left town and moved out of state. I’m 74 and was tempted to go to the police but didn’t. Now I wish I had pressed charges. Should I have?
BEATEN UP IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR BEATEN UP: There is probably more to this story than what you have written, but, yes, you should have notified the police. You were assaulted and falsely imprisoned in that restroom. Had you contacted the police and gone to an emergency room about the marks on your arm, you would have had proof about what the woman did to you.
DEAR ABBY: My older sister has just been diagnosed with cervical cancer. The HPV vaccine might have protected her from it, had it been available to our generation.
A few of us were out to lunch recently, and when I asked a younger sister if her granddaughter had received the vaccine, she went off on me like I had asked something terrible. Do you think I was wrong for asking? I have grandkids and would not be offended if someone asked me that question.
CONCERNED SISTER
DEAR CONCERNED SISTER: If you and the younger sister are close, then I don’t think your question was offensive. However, if you are not, because it was asked in front of friends, she may have interpreted it as an implication that her granddaughter — who is, of course, pure as the driven snow — is sexually active, which made her defensive.
DEAR ABBY: My husband of more than 20 years just purchased plane tickets to India. It’s a 24-hour trip from the USA. My problem is, he is sitting in business class, while I’m in economy. We have plenty of money, but he simply doesn’t want to spend it. He’s older and has health concerns and mobility issues.
Am I right to feel hurt and consider his love of money may be stronger than his love for me? Or should I be content and happy I’m going to a beautiful country?
FEELING LIKE SECOND RATE
DEAR FEELING: Of course you should be happy that you will be visiting a beautiful country. Content, not so much. You have a right to be upset at your penny-pinching husband for providing less-comfortable accommodations for you than he has arranged for himself on that long flight.
Upgrade your seat! You have a right to put your foot down and make clear that the two of you either sit together or he’ll be sitting first-class in the doghouse.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.