Harriette Cole: I saved for months to buy her this gift, and she sold it on eBay

Would I be justified in never giving her anything again?

DEAR HARRIETTE: I spent months saving up to get my sister a gift I knew that she wanted.

She wanted a specific brand of kitchen appliance that can cost up to $4,000. I surprised her with the gift last month, and she seemed genuinely excited.

The other day I went to visit her, and much to my surprise, the appliance was gone. She had sold the gift that I had bought for her on eBay. She said it was too expensive, and she would have rather had the money.

I’m hurt that she sold my gift. Would I be wrong never to buy her anything again?

Ungrateful

DEAR UNGRATEFUL: You need to talk to your sister.

Tell her how hurt you are that she sold the gift that you spent months saving to buy for her. Acknowledge that you know it was expensive, but you knew that she had expressed interest in having it. You worked overtime to fulfill her dream, and she just cashed it in.

Tell her that you won’t make that mistake again. It’s not that you should never buy her another present. Just be more practical and frugal. Don’t go beyond your range of affordability.

However, when you give someone something, it should be offered freely. In the best of circumstances, you should not place strings on a gift once you have presented it to someone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I graduate with my bachelor’s degree next month. Most of my classmates are excited and ready to finally be done with school, but I am a nervous wreck about graduating.

I have no direction as far as my career goes. I don’t have a dream job or career. I don’t have any job prospects or internships lined up. I have no experience and no real direction.

What is the best next step for someone in my position?

Scared To Graduate

DEAR SCARED TO GRADUATE: Make an appointment with a career counselor at your college as well as the job placement center if your school has one. Talk to them about your future and find out what jobs they suggest.

Many colleges and universities have outplacement centers that specifically help students find jobs upon graduation. Take full advantage of that service while you are in school.

Think about what interests you and what you are good at. For example, are you a good communicator? Maybe you can get a job in sales or marketing. Are you adept with computers? There are many jobs that require fluency with computer technology.

Get creative as you look at available jobs. Think about your major, too. What jobs might be a fit for your academic skills? Don’t forget to look at your actual school. Some graduates end up working directly for their alma mater. Look internally to see what opportunities are right there!

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.