Inside the 49ers: This ‘mock schedule’ outlines road back to Super Bowl
Open your Google calendars. The NFL’s great schedule reveal is coming.
Specific dates, prime-time honors, and road-trip plans are being leaked from television partners this week, leading into Thursday’s full-schedule unveiling at 5 p.m.
The NFL Schedule is now a week-long affair? Absolutely, and why not? The NFL Draft isn’t the only hypothetical beast worthy of our “fantasy” football projections.
The schedule actually offers a more immediate impact on the coming season than any sixth-round offensive lineman in the draft. So savor the sked.
Who’s up for Vegas? Who has their passport ready for Mexico? Who’s hosting Christmas? Rants will flow, and you may immediately morn how the NFL ruined the season before September’s opening kickoff.
We already learned last week the Cardinals are hosting the 49ers in Mexico City on Nov. 21. Did you know: the 49ers still could pay a visit this season to Arizona’s State Farm Stadium, site of Super Bowl LVII on Feb. 12?
Come 5 p.m. Thursday amid your Bay Area commute, we’ll know the 49ers’ roadmap to their elusive sixth Lombardi Trophy. What could that look like? Here is my mock schedule:
Week 1: at Carolina Panthers
Sunday, Sept. 11: The 49ers’ last two playoff seasons each opened with back-to-back road wins (in 2019 and ’21). The first leg of this East Coast swing must be Carolina, because Elton John is booked for Week 2 there. (Alternate dream: open at home against Tampa Bay and the quarterback they fished out of a retirement home.)
Week 2: at Atlanta Falcons
Sunday, Sept. 18: The Mercedes-Benz Superdome is one of two new venues the Niners check off their list this season; Vegas’ is the other. Carolina and Atlanta are the 49ers’ furthest locales on the 2022 itinerary, so they’d stay east, perhaps back at IMG Academy in Florida (see: 2019) or The Greenbrier in West Virginia (see: 2020 and ’21).
Week 3: vs. Kansas City Chiefs
Sunday night, Sept. 25: Patrick Mahomes and his Super Bowl LIV ring make for a spicy home opener, in prime time. At least Mahomes won’t have Tyreek Hill to target on another third-and-15, jet-chip-wasp heave.
I’m dreaming up #49ers schedule ahead of Thursday’s #NFL reveal. Lemme hear your say on … home-opening opponent:
— Cam Inman (@CamInman) May 9, 2022
Week 4: vs. Seattle Seahawks
Sunday, Oct. 2: For the first time since 2011, the 49ers won’t have to face Seattle with Russell Wilson; he went 17-5 against them. Caution: Wilson now lurks with the Denver Broncos further down the 49ers’ schedule.
Week 5: at Los Angeles Rams
Thursday night, Oct. 6: Levi’s Stadium is booked this weekend for Sir Elton, so the 49ers return to Los Angeles for their NFC Championship Game Revenge Tour. Reminder: the 49ers won six straight regular-season matchups (before the NFC title-game collapse).
Week 6: vs. Washington Commanders
Sunday, Oct. 16: New name (again), new quarterback (again) for a Washington franchise needs a new owner.
Week 7: vs. Arizona Cardinals
Sunday, Oct. 23: If Kyler Murray hasn’t gotten his contract extension by this point, the Cardinals may want to check his market ahead of the trade deadline. The 49ers’ advice: “That can be tricky with quarterbacks, especially when they need surgery.”
Week 8: at Chicago Bears
Sunday night, Oct. 30: The NFL likes to dress up its Halloween schedule by putting the 49ers in Soldier Field, and this would be their fourth visit on Halloween weekend since 2004. Nightmare scenario (for world peace): 49ers at Las Vegas Raiders.
Week 9: vs. New Orleans Saints
Sunday, Nov. 6: Let’s say Levi’s Stadium’s field mysteriously becomes unplayable, forcing this game to shift to New Orleans. (Look, it’s my dream schedule, not yours. Not like you’d pay to see Dennis Allen and Jameis Winston, anyhow. These aren’t the Sean Payton/Drew Brees Saints.)
Week 10: at Denver Broncos
Sunday, Nov. 13: Chasing Russell Wilson in Denver’s mile-high air will goose the 49ers for their next game, at Mexico City’s Estadio Azteca (elevation: 7,200 feet). Pro tip: the 49ers should follow this Broncos game by practicing in Colorado Springs to further acclimate their lungs.
Week 11: at Arizona Cardinals
Monday, Nov. 21: The NFL’s return to Mexico City is the undercard on a bigger event the next morning: Mexico opens World Cup play in Qatar against Poland (10 a.m. CT). Still, Alex Smith and the 49ers drew 103,467 in a 2005 loss to the Cardinals at Estadio Azteca.
Week 12: Bye
Nov. 24-28: Rest, recover, clear customs.
Week 13: at Seattle Seahawks
Sunday, Dec. 4: The 49ers are 5-16 all-time in Seattle’s thrice-named stadium (Lumen Field now).
Week 14: vs. Los Angeles Chargers
Sunday night, Dec. 11: The Bosa brothers meet in prime time. Actually, they’ve met. Now Nick Bosa will try to meet the Chargers’ Justin Herbert and Joey Bosa will seek out the 49ers’ Trey Lance.
Week 15: vs. Tampa Bay Bucs
Sunday, Dec. 19: A week ahead of Christmas, Tom Brady comes home, just down the road from his San Mateo roots. By this point, Brady will be speculated as the 49ers’ quarterback in 2023 for his true, farewell tour.
Week 16: at Las Vegas Raiders
Sunday, Dec. 25: Imagine waking up Christmas morning, seeing tickets in your stocking and flying to Vegas for the 49ers’ first visit. Now imagine the chaos created by fans of these former Bay Area neighbors. Cue chorus: “Let There Be Peace on Earth.”
Week 17: vs. Miami Dolphins
Sunday, Jan. 1: Running back Raheem Mostert, who left the 49ers for the Dolphins in free agency, teased this New Year’s Day matchup on Instagram, which is where all 49ers’ content is created this offseason (see: Samuel, Deebo).
Week 18: vs. Los Angeles Rams
Sunday, Jan. 8: The 49ers Faithful wants this matchup for the home opener. The NFL, however, loves pitting these rivals at season’s end. So do I.