Harriette Cole: Something is wrong with my ankles, and I don’t know what to do
Plus: Should I seek out people to drink with when my friend abstains?
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed that my ankles swell a lot these days. I don’t know what has caused this, but it is happening with some frequency.
I have the cheapest health insurance, so I don’t really want to go to the doctor. The co-pay is high, and I worry that they will either not pay close attention to me or find something terrible that’s wrong with me that I can’t afford to treat.
So far, I have not done anything about it. I’m sure that’s not the way to handle this. What do you recommend?
Swollen Ankles
DEAR SWOLLEN ANKLES: Of course you should go to the doctor, preferably your own primary physician if you have one. That is because a doctor who knows you may have a better sense of your overall health than someone you are just meeting.
Even if you have to pay a hefty co-pay, that’s lower than having to deal with an emergency situation.
According to the National Institutes of Health, swollen ankles — edema — can happen from sitting too long, eating too much salty food, being pregnant or being overweight. You can move more, eat healthier and work to lose weight if any of the above is true about you. But go to the doctor. It might save your life if something more serious is at hand.
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends is Muslim. We are currently in the season of Ramadan. While I am not Muslim, I hang out with her a lot. During this period, she can eat at only certain times, and she absolutely cannot drink alcohol.
Typically on the weekends, the two of us and some other friends hang out and have a glass of wine. I miss that.
Should I support her by not drinking at all during this period? Or do you think it’s smart for me to expand my friend group so I can do what I want during her time of restraint? I’m not sure how to be a good friend to her now.
Restrictions
DEAR RESTRICTIONS: During the period of Ramadan, Muslims are obligated to fast from dawn to dusk, which means abstaining from sex, food, drinking and smoking. Generally, people refrain from drinking and smoking for the entire period.
Out of respect for your friend, you definitely should not do any of those things around her, including eating while she cannot. It is kind of you to practice abstinence when in her company. By the way, that will only benefit you in your own self-discipline.
As for spending time with other friends who are not practicing Muslims, that’s fine, too. But you shouldn’t go looking for people to drink with. If you naturally have friends who do not observe the same religious practices, of course you can hang out with them.
For yourself, use this time to be reflective. What behaviors serve you today? What can you reduce or eliminate? That is wise for you to consider, and a great way to be thoughtful to your friend as well.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.