Miss Manners: Why do they ask such questions about my groceries?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Have you ever been to the grocery store, seen someone pushing a cart full of groceries and wondered if they’re shopping for a party? Or if perhaps they have a dozen kids at home?

Ever had the nerve to actually ask the shopper what all the food is for?

I have three teenagers and shop every 10 to 12 days, and my cart is full to the brim every time. I’m stopped every single trip, sometimes multiple times, with comments such as: “Got a full load there!” “How many kids do you feed?” “Hope you have a deep freezer!” “What is your bill for all that?” “How often do you shop?” “Are you one of those monthly shoppers?”

And the latest: “Have you considered buying a whole cow?”

What are your thoughts on this? I’m not really bothered by it, and I even expect it now, even though I would never ask someone questions about their groceries.

GENTLE READER: It is a good thing you are not bothered by this, considering the volatile state of people out shopping for groceries nowadays.

At least these shoppers are only making inane remarks. There is no cure for that, Miss Manners is sorry to say, but the only acknowledgment it requires is a weak smile as you accelerate down the aisle.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A theater we visit has stopped handing out printed programs. Instead, it makes a digital version of the program available to view on a smartphone.

In general, I see this as a positive move, since it prevents paper waste. Moreover, it makes it easier to look at the program in a darkened auditorium.

The problem is that at one show we attended, my husband saw an usher chastising someone for using a phone during the show. By barring phone use, the theater bars access to the program, as well.

I understand that theater etiquette requires cellphones to be silenced during a performance, and I always do so. And I realize it’s inconsiderate to the performers to be checking texts or playing games while they are on stage.

But is it really rude to use a phone just to check the program and see the name of the piece that’s currently being played? If so, what’s the point of providing it at all? Are guests expected to download the program before the show and print it out?

GENTLE READER: A new etiquette trap! First they make you use your telephone, and then they call you out for doing so.

Yes, you want to consult the program, if only to check whether Malvolio is the same person you saw last month as Second Grave Digger. And yes, it is rude to use your telephone, because it will cast a distracting light.

But how would you have checked this midplay with a paper program? Unless you sit close enough to get spinoff light from the stage, it would have been difficult.

You could, as you seem to suggest, bring your printer to the theater. Otherwise, Miss Manners is afraid that you will have to wait to do that checking at intermission.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.