Harriette Cole: My husband berates me because he forgets what I tell him
DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I tell my husband things, and he never remembers.
When I bring up the topic, whether it’s an event he agreed to attend or a story about mutual friends, he berates me when I tell him that we discussed the topic before.
It’s getting out of hand. He is becoming hostile. Anything can set him off seemingly for no reason other than that if he doesn’t remember something, that means to him it didn’t happen.
How can I manage this situation? I want to help him, but all that seems to be happening is that we are in more arguments.
— Bad Memory
DEAR BAD MEMORY: Do your best to set up a doctor’s appointment and have your husband’s memory checked.
You need to find out if he is showing early signs of dementia. If so, there are treatments that can help slow the onset of the condition, depending on his overall health and his mental state.
Find out if there are things you can do at home that will improve his memory. That can include the simple step of writing things down the moment that you discuss them so that he can see for himself that he was told about an event, a task or another piece of information. It’s best if he writes it down, but you can do that for him as long as you let him know where these updates are stored.
You may also limit sharing important information to a particular time of day when you are both alert. Avoid such revelations late at night, in early waking hours or if he is intoxicated.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work for a small company, and a key employee is leaving to go to another job. I don’t necessarily have all of the skills to fill her job, but I am interested in being considered for it.
I imagine that many people will apply since it is a good job and the pay is decent.
Should I throw my hat in the ring even though it’s a long shot? If I do, what can I say to get my bosses to consider me?
I have worked at the company for many years now and am a loyal employee, but I haven’t risen very much during my time there.
— Opportunity Knocks
DEAR OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS: Learn what you can about the job’s responsibilities. Think about what you bring to the table and what could make you uniquely right for the position.
Your tenure at the company can work in your favor. You know a lot about the way the company works and the needs that exist. What specific situations can you describe that will illustrate your knowledge of the company, your effectiveness at handling challenges and your loyalty? Be prepared to describe them.
Figure out what skills of yours are translatable for the new role. Think of examples of your work that can show how success in your current job could leverage success in the new one.
Point out the obvious: There may be other people who look right for the position, but you believe you are best because of your commitment, tenacity and drive. Then see what happens!
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.