Harriette Cole: It bothers me that there was so little reaction to my social media purge

I thought I'd get a lot of text messages, but few people have checked in.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I deleted all of my social media accounts a month ago.

I thought that I would get a lot of text messages from my friends asking what was going on or why I deleted everything. To my surprise, only a few of my close friends seemed to have noticed, and nobody else reached out to me at all.

I have some friends I spoke to only through social media, but now I haven’t heard from them in weeks.

Does this mean that those people aren’t really my friends, or am I just being overly sensitive?

— No One Noticed

DEAR NO ONE NOTICED: Good for you that you have taken a hiatus from social media. So many of us get completely caught up in the interaction of the virtual world that it can seem more real than everyday life.

What you are experiencing is showing you a few things. First of all, it could be that your friends simply aren’t as engaged on social media as you had thought. If they regularly reacted to your posts, it may be because they showed up in their feed, making it easy for them to react. They didn’t have to do much because the post was directly in front of them.

So some of your friends may not even realize that you have checked out. That doesn’t make them less of a friend. Instead, it reflects the convenience of social media. Without it, a little more effort is required to stay in touch.

As to your online-only friends, are you sure they have your contact information beyond social media? Could you reach out to them instead?

The fact that your closest friends reached out is a strong sign of your relationships with them. When you have genuinely close friendships, those people will seek you out if they can’t find you in your likely places.

Don’t be mad at the people you haven’t heard from. Be aware of who your true friends are.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had my heart set on surprising my husband with a birthday gift that he had been talking about for weeks. Unfortunately, his sister beat me to it and bought him the present before I had the chance to.

I was so invested in making him feel special. I feel like it shouldn’t upset me as much as it does, but I really wanted to be the one to surprise him with the present.

Shouldn’t she have told me what she planned to get him for his birthday? Should I address this with her?

— That Was My Idea

DEAR THAT WAS MY IDEA: You should stand down.

Clearly your husband wanted this thing. Since he didn’t say it just to you, everyone in earshot had an equal opportunity to fulfill his wishes. His sister jumped on it.

If you had wanted to be the one to secure this present, you should have told the people he had been sharing his desires with.

Remember that this is his day, not yours. Don’t spoil the fun by trying to make his sister feel guilty. Choose something else to give to him to add joy to his day.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.